Joshua Tree hikes, grief rituals, and the salad dressing we're (all?) obsessed with

Links we sent our friends #95 feat. Carla Fernandez

Hi! How’d your weekend go?

Last Tuesday, I (Aliza) facilitated a conversation about loss with writers — and experts in grief —

Hannah Matthews

and

Carla Fernandez

. My biggest takeaways: Grieving “well” doesn’t mean it’s tidy: Real grief is messy and non-linear. Community support is critical. Grief often compounds as we get older. And “me too” is one of the most powerful things a grieving person can hear.

A little more about Carla: She’s the author of Renegade Grief, a much-needed guide for navigating loss on your own terms and timeline, as well as co-founder of The Dinner Party, a platform connecting grieving adults in their 20s, 30s, and 40s.

I shared The Dinner Party on Instagram after last week’s event, and a friend messaged me almost instantly: “The Dinner Party truly saved me in so many ways after my mom died.”

Carla’s Links:

1. After my beloved LL Bean bag dumped its contents onto an airport curb, I bought this carry-on tote. I wish it was a little roomier but love the “things organized neatly” energy of the pockets.

2. The Rockefeller Foundation’s Lake Como estate (where I often facilitate groups tackling topics like climate resilience and democracy) offers a solo residency program for artists, writers, and academics. Apply for your month thinking deeply and drinking Aperol spritzes…

3. My husband and I spend most of the year in Hudson Valley. Local favorites: this boutique hotel’s fancy cocktails, great pizza, massages in an unassuming strip mall, summer roller skating, soft serve, and the scenic lake loop trail.

4. Winter finds us in Joshua Tree. We love date nights at the Rat-Pack-era airport lounge, morning yoga, weekend Palm Springs estate sales, the vibrant farmer’s market, and lesser-known hikes like Panorama Loop.

5. My best friend since sixth grade, Tessa Stuart, is a Rolling Stone political reporter doing crucial work on reproductive rights. Check out her interview with the founder of Emily’s List — and consider subscribing! (Aliza: This is amazing!! I’m a long-time Emily’s List supporter.)

Photos from last week’s Renegade Grief book event with Hannah Matthews (left), Aliza (center), and Carla Fernandez (right)

Aliza’s Links:

1. No, Trump can not run for re-election. (I found this somewhat reassuring.)

2. A brilliant (and easy) way to meet your neighbors from

   Patty Smith
   for
   Supernuclear
   . (h/t Ann Friedman’s must-read weekly newsletter.)

3. FARM Rio x Havaianas is such a fun collaboration.

4. Tinted face sunscreen that goes on like butter — and is half the price of Supergoop (although, as Aja reminded me, the Sephora sale is on.)

5. A new “dance dramedy” series from the Gilmore and Marvelous Mrs. Maisel producers is coming to Prime on April 24th! In the meantime, Lauren Graham on Call Her Daddy was a very fun listen. (Aja: Lol, I gotta disagree here… I can’t stand Alex Cooper’s interviewing style 😬)

6. “Waffle House is fire”… and a million other reasons why every American should have to live for at least two weeks a year in the South. (h/t

   Kareem Rahma
   )

What I’ll be watching when White Lotus and The Pitt wrap….

Aja’s Links:

1. Ahem, yes, the Sephora sale! I restocked on my favorite eyebrow pencil, pretty pink lipstick, and the hair treatment my hairdresser made me promise I’d do once a month.

2. The Bend app has made stretching for a few minutes every day very achievable.

3. Anyone else obsessed with the classic sushi restaurant salad dressing? It’s so punchy and bright. I found a bottled version at H Mart and finished it in a week, then made my own. (Aliza: Me. How have we never talked about this? It’s the best.)

4. Hahaha.

5. For an instant — and lately, much-needed — dose of calm, I’ve been tuning into a random forest…

Aja and I are thinking about going live on Substack and would love to hear from you — what would you want to chat about?

Waffle House visit in Florida!

• 29 things I’m glad I did in my twenties

• How to get horny again (!)

• Helping a friend through grief (the things we wish we’d known sooner)

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