Issue #88: 29 things I'm glad I did in my twenties...

I'd love to hear about yours, too.

Written by

Aliza Sir

. Edited by

Aja Frost

.

Hi! How’s your week going? We got home from Puerto Rico on Tuesday night — where we were quickly pulled back into real life. But I (Aliza) am trying to ride the high of waking up to 75 degrees and palm trees for at least a few more days.

From my 30th birthday. Photo taken at a campsite along the Natchez Trace Parkway between Mississippi and Tennessee. (A story for another time!)

I’ve always liked birthdays — probably for the same reasons I appreciate New Year’s resolutions. My twenties were spent learning about 401(k)s, staying out late with friends, buying tickets to shows by bands I’d never heard of, and listening to many, many episodes of The Daily.

I’m solidly mid-thirties now, but when I look back on my twenties, here’s what I thank myself for doing:

1. Moving to Boston, even though I had zero friends or family there and had never lived north of North Carolina.

2. Showing up to parties where I hardly knew anyone. Pretending I was the kind of person that regularly showed up to parties where I hardly knew anyone, until I actually became that person.

3. Relying mostly on my bike and public transportation to get around. The city quickly felt navigable (and like “mine.”)

4. Always wearing my bike helmet. Buying myself a bike helmet that felt sort of cool.

   

   My favorite bike. A Craigslist find I’ve had since 2016.

5. Saying yes when, the first weekend after my move, Danielle asked if I wanted to go to the beach with her college friends. That’s where I met my friends Emily, Chantal, and others. (You never know when the friend of a friend of a friend will turn into a best friend — like

   Aja Frost
   !)

6. Making an effort to go home to Nashville for holidays, weddings, and milestone birthdays.

7. Starting traditions with said best friends — like going to music festivals together, signing up for half marathons, and having mid-week pizza nights. Being intentional about maintaining our friendships, even when our calendars started filling up with weddings, baby showers, and kid stuff.

8. Living with my friends rather than immediately moving in with my high school boyfriend (who became my college boyfriend who eventually became my husband.) (I’m going to live with Sam for the rest of my life, but I will never get another chance to share closets or crawl into each others’ beds every Saturday morning to recap the night before.)

9. Asking for more money. Asking for more time off. Asking for a better title. Asking for (even more) money.

10. Adopting a dog.

    

    I mean, c’monnnnn.

11. Quitting trips to the tanning bed (I developed a bad habit one semester in college.)

12. Quitting looking at old pictures every time I felt insecure about my body (it never helps.)

13. Choosing a stylist who knows blonde hair. Bringing a reference photo every time. Not over-highlighting.

14. Getting comfortable with my (decidedly not blonde) body hair.

15. Backing up all of my pictures and videos to Google Photos.

16. Finding a non-predatory dentist (unless something is seriously wrong, you don’t need multiple fillings every six months…)

17. Backpacking in the Pacific Northwest with my best friend, Margie (and getting into an explosive, exhaustion-induced fight as soon as we got home.) Road-tripping across Puerto Rico with my sister, Molly. Snorkeling in Honduras. Hiking the Salkantay Trek to Machu Picchu with my aforementioned future husband.

    

    Left: Hiking up past a glacier on the Salkantay Trek. Right: The sun rising over Machu Picchu.

18. Keeping travel journals so I have detailed descriptions of said blowout fight and the magic of approaching Machu Picchu at dawn.

19. Maxing out my 401(k). (Buying budget airline tickets and cheap hotel rooms so I could max out my 401(k).)

20. Starting a yoga practice. Internalizing the message that I am enough.

21. Getting drunk and staying up late with friends to have deep conversations about our dreams, anxieties and neuroses. Not worrying about what time I’d have to wake up the next morning.

22. Learning sometimes you can get closer to someone when you’re not drinking.

23. Throwing myself birthday parties. Some years, having huge parties with everyone I knew. Other years, going to dinner with my three closest friends.

    

    From my 27th birthday. Singing karaoke on a table (in a private room). (This was not my first karaoke birthday.)

24. Using spontaneous trips to cement friendships with people I’d just met. Nothing feels more intimate than getting food poisoning on a trip to Mexico with your new best friend.

25. Learning how to make roasted salmon and vegetables. More importantly: Marrying someone who likes to cook more than I did.

26. Falling in love on my own timeline. Not letting anything (or anyone) rush me to the altar.

27. Not spending more than I made so I could pay off my credit card (almost) every month.

28. Being okay with leaving a party when I was ready to leave a party.

29. Being generous with “I love you.” Never hanging up a call with my parents, my sister, Sam, or a best friend without those three words.

I’d love to hear from you. What are you grateful that you did in your twenties?

No avocado will ever taste as good as this enormous one in Peru.

• The year I actually kept by resolutions…

• WTF is a pelvic floor, and why do we need therapy for it?!

• My husband won’t take my last name

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