Issue #26: Grossy Pelosi knows how to entertain
We chat with the NYT-bestselling cookbook author and self-professed anchovy doula
My friends and family know: my talents in the kitchen are meager. Close to nonexistent. But one night early in the pandemic, craving novelty and not finding it in the puzzle pieces I (Aja) was gloomily pushing around, I decided to try my hand at dinner. I knew just what I’d make: vodka sauce. A few days earlier I’d started following Grossy Pelosi (a.k.a. Daniel Pelosi) on Instagram, and he’d shared a “sawce” recipe that looked unbelievably creamy and smooth.
It was unbelievably creamy and smooth — and easy enough for me to make with confidence. I became a Grossy convert, falling in love with Dan’s exuberance, sense of humor, authenticity, and of course, delicious yet approachable recipes. I wasn’t the only one; over the next three years, Dan’s audience grew and grew and grew.
He recently published his first cookbook, Let’s Eat: 101 Recipes to Fill Your Heart and Home (which quickly hit the New York Times bestseller list!) When we scheduled a Zoom interview, I was anticipating a fairly standard Q&A. In true Grossy fashion, it was a lot more fun. (Aliza: I’m soooo sad I missed this one! Seriously one of my favorite conversations to read.)
Aja: Tell me about the journey to Let's Eat.
Dan: I will. I have to tell you something. I have been trying to buy a dining room table, a very specific table, and I found it on Facebook Marketplace last night. There's a chance the guy may call me while we’re talking.
Everything in this room is from Facebook Marketplace. So I respect the chase.
You know how weird it can be, right? And I don't want to miss the call because I will never hear from him again. I will try to make it as brief as possible. I just really want this table.
So anyway, how did I get started? I've always been in the kitchen with my family. I’m an Italian American kid, and growing up, I did not go outside, did not play with other children. I was much more interested in listening, learning, cooking, getting my hands dirty, and tasting things.
As an adult, I found myself in situations where I had to cook for myself — when I was studying abroad in Italy or had just moved to San Francisco — and I was like, wow, all the things I’d been doing prepared me to stock my pantry, entertain, and make people feel at home.
Growing up, I did not go outside, did not play with other children. I was much more interested in listening, learning, cooking, getting my hands dirty, and tasting things.
When the pandemic started, I realized my experience was now something people could use. And I threw my energy into sharing that knowledge.
What happened next?
I went from struggling with what to do with my time to being hyper-productive. I was sharing all of my recipes on Instagram Stories. I launched merch (Aja’s note: 100% of the proceeds went to SAGE, the country’s largest and oldest national organization dedicated to improving the lives of LGBTQ+ older people.) I needed a website for my recipes, so I created one, and began working with brands. And then I got a book agent.
I started following you pretty early in the pandemic. I've seen your world expand, and it’s pretty impressive how consistent it’s felt.
That is so sweet. I appreciate it. I mean, I think I have been me. I don't know how to be anyone else.
My content has always been in the moment — and it still sort of is. But as I started to grow into a brand and a business, I started working on projects that were not immediately visible. I got my book deal two years before it finally came out, so for a long time, I was developing recipes behind the scenes.
Right. Everything that you put out has remained consistent and authentic, but the timelines around sharing it have changed.
I’m still just being me. Everyone's in a little Baby Bjorn on my chest. But I know this is the only way I could do it. I'm in awe of these creators who put out a new recipe Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, and they’re shot like short films.
I'm just over here, trying to get through every day and make smart decisions and sometimes cook and sometimes order out.
Sometimes get your dream table on Facebook Marketplace…
I’m so nervous. We got scammed once. Gus [Dan’s partner] got scammed. The seller just kept saying, “I’m driving back from Minnesota.”
I knew it was a scam. First, she had seven million Herman Miller pieces on her page.
That’s suspicious.
I was like, she’s scanning the internet for pictures. She knows [Herman Miller] is candy for the gays and the New Yorkers. And there was no way this woman who lives in the West Village has this much stock — it's definitely in a warehouse, if she even has it. Finally, after days of her saying she was driving back, I asked Gus for the woman’s name. Googled it, and it literally said “known scammer.” I was like, why is she still using her name?
Scamming 101, change your alias!
I just really want a dining table for my apartment in Brooklyn, because I'm having a dinner party on Wednesday night, and I don't have room for the people. So the pressure’s on.
Wow, okay, the pressure is on. What is the best thing you’ve had while being on tour?
The best thing I’ve had on tour was — oh wait, hang on, this is the call!
[Intermission]
How did it go??
It went well. We're allegedly meeting between 2 and 3.
He definitely raised the price by a hundred dollars. But I just want the fucking table.
Okay. Gus's parents came up from San Francisco to meet us [for the Seattle tour stop.] His mom is best friends with the woman who owns The Pink Door, a well-known Italian restaurant in The Market.
They have such a cool energy. We had a bruschetta – literally toast with garlic and a slice of tomato with olive oil and salt — that was the most delicious thing I've eaten in a very long time. The entire meal was so good.
I will say, people were like, “I can't wait to see where you eat in this city and that city” and I kept saying, “This is not the time. Book tour is not the time where you will see me eating like I normally would eat,” because I’m mostly sleeping, eating room service, and grabbing Starbucks.
Book tour strikes me as similar to work travel, in that it sounds glamorous until you do it. And then you realize, “Oh yeah, I'm seeing hotel rooms, I'm seeing where I'm working or speaking, and that's about it.”
That is it. I was very intent on making sure my energy was spent with the people. I made a couple of rookie mistakes, going out too late one night — by which I mean trying to have dinner at 8:30 p.m. — which just does not work for me.
One day I ate at California Pizza Kitchen and two hours later vomited it all up.
Oh no!!
I’m a huge CPK fan. But I had it in Portland. I lived there for two and a half years, and it was the most unhappy I've ever been in my entire life. I think I had a very visceral reaction to being back for the first time. And emotionally I needed a release. It was my CPK dinner.
I’m glad it wasn’t CPK’s fault. I’m also a CPK fan.
Aliza and I love that your content isn't just about you. It's about your extended family, your boyfriend, your boyfriend's family, your friends… You take a really communal approach to content.1
I've been this way my whole life. I grew up listening to my dad talk to people on the phone all the time, telling all these stories. I was sitting there being like, “Dad, no one needs to know this. Why are you telling people this?” And now I do the same thing.
And emotionally I needed a release. It was my CPK dinner.
I happened to grow up when we were all coming into social media. I was on Friendster, I was on Facebook, I was on MySpace. I've always shared my life; the difference is I didn't have an audience. My friends would always make fun of me and be like, “Why are we waiting for you to take pictures of the whole meal so you can post it? Who cares?” And I was like, “Because someone cares. I care.”
Let’s finish with a lightning round. What’s an underrated ingredient for the typical home cook?
Anchovies aren’t just underrated, they’re hated. I've done a lot of work as an anchovy doula getting people to understand it's not gonna taste like fish at the end. It’s salt. It's depth of flavor. So it's exhausting. But I do it.
Honest work. Okay, what about overrated?
I've been eating cottage cheese my whole life. What has happened to poor cottage cheese? She has been truly turned into everything. We don't need that.
One thousand percent! It’s the cauliflowerication of cottage cheese. What’s the tool everyone should have in their kitchen?
For this book, I really want people to have a food processor. (This is above and beyond the things we probably all have, like, I'm not gonna say a chef’s knife.) A food processor is a great investment. You can use it to do so many things. And people always say you could use a blender instead of a food processor, well, you can use a food processor instead of a blender!
Good point. So if someone doesn't have room or they're on a budget, maybe they sell their blender on Facebook Marketplace and swap it for a food processor?
Or like, buy a cheap blender and buy a cheap food processor and have both. I have a Vitamix, and I use my Magic Bullet all the time. I bring it with me on vacation in my purse. When I go on trips where I'm cooking, I'll measure ingredients out, put them in little baggies, and pack them in my food processor or Magic Bullet… Like putting my socks inside of my shoes.
Love it. We got a bonus tool. What's the best music for cooking?
Oh, God, I don't know. I listen to musicals. I listen to podcasts.
While you cook? Interesting. It doesn't distract you?
No, no, no, it relaxes me. I also like silence. Not just in cooking — in public. Which leads to me giving a lot of angry eyes at people. Why are you holding your speaker phone up to your ear? Why are we doing that?
One important sub-question: what about people who are biking and playing music? Because I kind of like that.
No, I want to exist in silence. To believe that everyone wants to listen to the same song that you want to is completely fucking psychotic.
But if they're riding through the street —
We’re gonna agree to disagree here. Our first fight!
It's a snatch of music, like it's here and it's gone. I'm like, Oooh, I felt like a part of your scene for a second. But I agree in most other places, silence is preferable.
I would like to have a choice. I do believe I deserve a choice.
I’m going give you a few situations, and I want you to tell me the recipe from Let's Eat you would recommend. One: Your partner's parents are coming over for the first time.
You wanna show them you're a nice solid cook. You could make a roast chicken — the Piri Piri Roast Chicken (page 225) is really great.
There is something to putting a lasagna or eggplant parm in the oven for an hour, greeting your guests, and having that moment. Your salad's prepped, your garlic bread's ready to broil for the last five minutes. You're not standing cooking something right until you sit down at the table, like the Vodka Sawce (page 193). So the Manicotti (page 205) or Eggplant Parm (page 167) is a good way to do it. I also think sometimes you want those people to get tired and leave.
LOL. Two: You and your friends had a late night and you need something quick and delicious in the morning to bring you back to life.
I made it last night — the Pastina (page 49) is good at any time of day. It's got eggs, it's got pasta. Pasta for breakfast is huge. If you have leftovers, the Leftover Pasta Frittata (page 59) is incredible. Those two are just crack an egg, easy.
Three: It's Wednesday, you've already had a long week, and you're cooking for your family or roommates.
The Bean, Kale, and Linguiça Skillet (page 215) is really good. Eating that with a hunk of bread is delicious.
Bimpy's Pasta e Piselli (page 185) is so stupid easy, and people have been making it and messaging me being like “What is this magic?” It’s the canned peas. The canned peas make all the difference. It's also great for kids. If you have kids, they will just devour the Pasta e Piselli.
Last week, Aliza, the Sams, and I made the Whole-Roasted Eggplant with Calabrian Chili Crisp (page 119). We made the Cechi e Pepe (page 181), which was delicious; it went so quickly between the four of us. And we made the whipped cream and berries (page 283) for dessert.
Oh, my gosh! The Zabaglione. Is that not so easy?
It's so easy, so beautiful.
That's a Wednesday night there. If you're having people over and you want to impress them, there's nothing better than berries and whipped cream. What did you think of the eggplant?
Throwing a whole eggplant in the oven to roast for a few hours is life-changing.
It’s the new baked potato.
Yes! Grossy, thank you so much for the time. Thank you for writing Let's Eat, I’m definitely going to be cooking my way through it. And good luck with the table!
Was that not a beautiful ride? I have two follow-ups:
While looking through Let’s Eat a few days later, I realized the photos were taken by an old friend from college! Andrew Bui, you’re a gem, and your pictures are just as gorgeous as Grossy’s food.
Most importantly of all, the table was acquired…
Platonic Love is an entirely reader-supported, affiliate-free publication. We get to talk to incredible creators, chefs, writers, etc. because of you. If you have a project, initiative, etc. you’d like to share, will you let us know what you’ve been cooking up in the comments? See you on Monday with more links. Love, Aja
There’s even a section on the Grossy Pelosi website dedicated to “the Grossy universe.” Highly recommend checking out for the intro to Bimpy alone.
i am the anchovy doula in my life!! this was great
Hilarious interview! I have the exact same feelings about fish sauce, which I routinely sub in for anchovy in Italian recipes.