Loved this! Adding to #2: Don’t try to cheer them up or (unless you are an expert) question the current medical assessment. I am currently pregnant with twins and we were told one might not survive. „But at least the other one is doing well“ - I just don’t know what to say to that, of course I am super grateful AND I already love both of them. Ask questions instead of making assumptions- e.g. our realistic best case scenario entails (at least) 2 months of Nicu - if you think the other person might be „too upset“ about those news, because your cousin‘s daughter was a couple of days in Nicu as well and she turned out fine - ask for additional information. And it‘s okay to ask and say the „wrong“ thing - we are all lesrning.
last point- if you can’t show up because you have currently too much on your own plate- that’s fine too, tell them exactly that
Thank you, Lou! Will be thinking of you through this tough time - and really appreciate your last point about just letting friends know when you have too much on your plate to show up, it's small yet meaningful 💛
That's such a great question - we went through that for a long time while my friend's sister was sick. I'd love for others to weigh in, but I think that most (if not all) of the concepts we mentioned here would still apply.
Really thoughtful advice ❤️ My friend just lost her grandmother right before the holidays and I’m grateful I stumbled upon this post that will help me be a better friend to her during this time.
Best article I’ve read on supporting someone who’s grieving in a long time 💛 thank you!
Thank you! This means a lot, Gillian.
Loved this! Adding to #2: Don’t try to cheer them up or (unless you are an expert) question the current medical assessment. I am currently pregnant with twins and we were told one might not survive. „But at least the other one is doing well“ - I just don’t know what to say to that, of course I am super grateful AND I already love both of them. Ask questions instead of making assumptions- e.g. our realistic best case scenario entails (at least) 2 months of Nicu - if you think the other person might be „too upset“ about those news, because your cousin‘s daughter was a couple of days in Nicu as well and she turned out fine - ask for additional information. And it‘s okay to ask and say the „wrong“ thing - we are all lesrning.
last point- if you can’t show up because you have currently too much on your own plate- that’s fine too, tell them exactly that
Thank you, Lou! Will be thinking of you through this tough time - and really appreciate your last point about just letting friends know when you have too much on your plate to show up, it's small yet meaningful 💛
Yes to all of this! Megan Devines book ‘It’s okay that you’re not okay’ is a great deep dive into this
I need to check this one out, thank you!
Thank you, I really loved this and I'll be thinking about how to use your advice in my life
Aw, I'm so glad!
really loved this - so practical... and i loved the examples for how to show up or make someones life easier 💛
Really appreciate this!!
saved! loved all of this. thank you.
Thank you thank you 💛
Wonderful article.
I wrote a post very similar to this in April after my dad died and I had to be on the receiving end of a lot of these. Your advice is spot on!
How do you help someone who's experiencing pre-grief, mourning someone who will but has yet to pass?
That's such a great question - we went through that for a long time while my friend's sister was sick. I'd love for others to weigh in, but I think that most (if not all) of the concepts we mentioned here would still apply.
Really thoughtful advice ❤️ My friend just lost her grandmother right before the holidays and I’m grateful I stumbled upon this post that will help me be a better friend to her during this time.
Aw, I'm so sorry to hear that but glad that this could maybe give you some guidance and comfort for showing up for her right now 💛