I (Aja) wish my friends and I talked more about sex.
May I venture a guess why?
For a younger single woman sex is about herself and finding what is pleasing to her. There can be lots of excitement and experimentation, this is entertaining to talk about!
In an older married woman, sex is more about the relationship and the couple. It’s intimate and doesn’t just belong to her. Pair that with the fact that years of experience has taught her EXACTLY what she likes and well, maybe that’s not very exciting to hear about over and over again.
I’m 45 and have a strong sex drive and a great sex life but don’t talk about it because a) it’s between my husband and me and b) frankly wouldn’t be that exciting to a listener.
One of my fave smart romances is Eligible by Curtis Sittenfeld - a modern retelling of Pride and Prejudice. I love Annabel Monaghan's books too - which I think of as "romance for moms!"
I discovered the delightful world of romance and it’s fans during the pandemic, and even though it’s grown-up subject matter, it has been such a joyful return to what I loved about reading as a girl. I used to read whenever/wherever possible when I was younger, and this happy, meaningful, fascinating genre has made me that person again. I LOVE it (so much, that I’m working on my own manuscript). Thank you for highlighting this new company - so cool. Another author to add to the mix, in the spirit of Annabel Monaghan, Emily Henry, Curtis Sittenfeld, is Mhairi McFarlane! I’m jealous of everyone who now gets to work their way through her back catalog!!
Aliza, am I immature for cackling when you wrote “Hard agree”? 🤣 This interview was fabulous, and obviously I’ll be reading Big Fan.
Aja, couldn’t agree more about the sex talk quieting down as we all get older. Not only is it a bummer from a juicy-conversation perspective, it’s such a missed opportunity—and that’s true whether our sex lives are amazing, neutral, or lackluster.
I mean, yes: there are awesome resources out there for anyone interested in human sexuality. But like…wouldn’t it be great to learn from each other’s experiences, too?!
As a former Invisalign wearer, the intro made me laugh! And I have to add: when you remove your trays, you’re left with hard and sharp rocks of resin that have been installed on various teeth (similar to the brackets of braces). They can feel like little razors when exposed. Better to keep your trays on. 😂
Everything about it is as unsexy as you can imagine!
Oh my gosh yes those nubs are sharp and painful. Although bizarrely when I got mine off (I'm also a retired Invisalign wearer) I missed them for a few months...
Also a retired Invisalign wearer, still dedicated to my retainer. I don't remember those nubs being sharp on mine at all?? Thank you to my dentist I guess 😳 - MF
Oh, I keep seeing everyone tote around Big Fan + it's a must-read for me! Have y'all read All Fours yet? Such a wonderful book, but also THE SEX SCENES! I finished the book sipping cappuccino at a local cafe while greedily eating a chocolate cornetto. I can't help but feel that's what Miranda July would have wanted. 🫡
Romance books are my happy place. As for conversations, they help there too. I got my husband to read romance novels too and it's helped. I also have hilarious conversations afterwards with friends when we all read the same book.
Ursina, tell me more about getting your husband to read! Was he always open to the idea, or did you have to convince him? Which ones did you start him with??
He loves history but reading has always been a struggle. I got him a historical western romance that wasn't super long, I think it was a Leigh Greenwood novel. He loved it. So that's what he reads now, I do usually read them first because he prefers that so I can explain if he gets stuck. It took years and an internet outage to get him to try. He had to be really bored first lol.
I know it’s not the focus for Erica and Claire / 831 but the whole time I read this essay I was waiting for a reference to the other huge literary trend — romantasy!! (She says, during her scroll break from Onyx Storm 🙃)
Having a romance novel company sounds like so much fun!! I do have a secret soft spot for the formulas of romance. And smart romances can teach you so much about people and human nature and social interactions and feelings and the way we understand one another.
this is awesome. with my closest friends, we can still talk about sex.....same with my sister and I. if you have people you are that close with, I think it's still a "thing!" even though its different than all the college stuff ;)
If you are looking for great suggestions for the romance genre Katie @beachreadsandbubbly is fantastic. Her reviews are always thorough and she was who got me to give romance a chance a few years ago. I’ve been thrilled with the genre ever since!
I (Aja) wish my friends and I talked more about sex.
May I venture a guess why?
For a younger single woman sex is about herself and finding what is pleasing to her. There can be lots of excitement and experimentation, this is entertaining to talk about!
In an older married woman, sex is more about the relationship and the couple. It’s intimate and doesn’t just belong to her. Pair that with the fact that years of experience has taught her EXACTLY what she likes and well, maybe that’s not very exciting to hear about over and over again.
I’m 45 and have a strong sex drive and a great sex life but don’t talk about it because a) it’s between my husband and me and b) frankly wouldn’t be that exciting to a listener.
I can definitely see that, Nona!
One of my fave smart romances is Eligible by Curtis Sittenfeld - a modern retelling of Pride and Prejudice. I love Annabel Monaghan's books too - which I think of as "romance for moms!"
And will check out Annabel Monaghan!
Start with Nora goes off script!
I love one of Curtis’ other books Romantic Comedg!
Love everything Curtis Sittenfield writes — she's a treasure.
Yes - forgot about that one - another smart romance!
I discovered the delightful world of romance and it’s fans during the pandemic, and even though it’s grown-up subject matter, it has been such a joyful return to what I loved about reading as a girl. I used to read whenever/wherever possible when I was younger, and this happy, meaningful, fascinating genre has made me that person again. I LOVE it (so much, that I’m working on my own manuscript). Thank you for highlighting this new company - so cool. Another author to add to the mix, in the spirit of Annabel Monaghan, Emily Henry, Curtis Sittenfeld, is Mhairi McFarlane! I’m jealous of everyone who now gets to work their way through her back catalog!!
Lindsay, I love this so much — and it's so in line with Claire and Erica's romance journeys as well! I'm so excited to check out Mhairi's work!
Aliza, am I immature for cackling when you wrote “Hard agree”? 🤣 This interview was fabulous, and obviously I’ll be reading Big Fan.
Aja, couldn’t agree more about the sex talk quieting down as we all get older. Not only is it a bummer from a juicy-conversation perspective, it’s such a missed opportunity—and that’s true whether our sex lives are amazing, neutral, or lackluster.
I mean, yes: there are awesome resources out there for anyone interested in human sexuality. But like…wouldn’t it be great to learn from each other’s experiences, too?!
As a former Invisalign wearer, the intro made me laugh! And I have to add: when you remove your trays, you’re left with hard and sharp rocks of resin that have been installed on various teeth (similar to the brackets of braces). They can feel like little razors when exposed. Better to keep your trays on. 😂
Everything about it is as unsexy as you can imagine!
Oh my gosh yes those nubs are sharp and painful. Although bizarrely when I got mine off (I'm also a retired Invisalign wearer) I missed them for a few months...
You had them too?! I definitely didn’t miss the attachments! 😂😂❤️
Oh wow thank you to MY dentist?!
😂 I guess a very big un-thank you to mine!
Also a retired Invisalign wearer, still dedicated to my retainer. I don't remember those nubs being sharp on mine at all?? Thank you to my dentist I guess 😳 - MF
Yours weren’t sharp?! If I didn’t have my trays in, there was a chance I’d be bleeding! It made me an A+ Invisalign wearer. 😅
truly truly truly obsessed with this!!!
💛💛💛
Oh, I keep seeing everyone tote around Big Fan + it's a must-read for me! Have y'all read All Fours yet? Such a wonderful book, but also THE SEX SCENES! I finished the book sipping cappuccino at a local cafe while greedily eating a chocolate cornetto. I can't help but feel that's what Miranda July would have wanted. 🫡
Ran to buy Big Fan! Can't wait to read and see more from this company (with EXCELLENT branding, I might add, wow)
Incredible, right?! I love how cohesive and playful yet adult it feels.
Romance books are my happy place. As for conversations, they help there too. I got my husband to read romance novels too and it's helped. I also have hilarious conversations afterwards with friends when we all read the same book.
Ursina, tell me more about getting your husband to read! Was he always open to the idea, or did you have to convince him? Which ones did you start him with??
He loves history but reading has always been a struggle. I got him a historical western romance that wasn't super long, I think it was a Leigh Greenwood novel. He loved it. So that's what he reads now, I do usually read them first because he prefers that so I can explain if he gets stuck. It took years and an internet outage to get him to try. He had to be really bored first lol.
Just choose Big Fan for my book club - can’t wait to dive in!
Yay!! It's such a fun (and quick) read!
I know it’s not the focus for Erica and Claire / 831 but the whole time I read this essay I was waiting for a reference to the other huge literary trend — romantasy!! (She says, during her scroll break from Onyx Storm 🙃)
Having a romance novel company sounds like so much fun!! I do have a secret soft spot for the formulas of romance. And smart romances can teach you so much about people and human nature and social interactions and feelings and the way we understand one another.
this is awesome. with my closest friends, we can still talk about sex.....same with my sister and I. if you have people you are that close with, I think it's still a "thing!" even though its different than all the college stuff ;)
I love that and aspire to get back to that place 🤠
This is why I love my romance novels so much!!
Yessss!!! You were an inspiration my friend!
Love this, thanks for bringing this subject to light!! Also hello again zebra friend! 😁
Brittany, I thought of you when I put it back in 😂
😂 currently in search of an angel donor
If you are looking for great suggestions for the romance genre Katie @beachreadsandbubbly is fantastic. Her reviews are always thorough and she was who got me to give romance a chance a few years ago. I’ve been thrilled with the genre ever since!
Amazing, just followed her — thank you for the rec!!
Love Claire & Erica and now 831! Just finished Big Fan (and the epilogue..spicy) and can't wait for more.
Ooh ok I'm reading the epilogue tonight.