As someone who has worked in higher ed (starting in admissions) for 25+ years, can I just say a giant AMEN to the idea of going to college matters but not getting into an Ivy doesn't idea? I wish all 16 year olds could know that most colleges admit most of their applicants most of the time and that all the talk about the highly selective schools makes it seem like there are only like 50 good schools in the world and that just isn't remotely true.
There is no one right college for anyone and most people will end up satisfied with where they go, even if it isn't a "brand name".
Sorry, this is one of my soapboxes! Standing down now :)
I would tell myself all the nasty, awful bad things that have happened to you, are not your fault and you had NOTHING to do with them. But they will shape you in ways you don’t realize, both positively and negatively. Do the work when you’re older, but be shame free of it until then. Keep treating people with kindness. It comes back to you and will serve you well.
I have a 16 year old daughter. Maybe she’ll listen to your reflective advice more than she’ll listen to me. Who am I kidding! She had to learn all this for herself.
I think that's what I would tell my 16 yo self - right now you think you've got it all figured out. Down the road, you will want someone to give you the answers and no one can actually do that for you.
The “rules” (societal, self-imposed, religious, educational, family) do not apply — not in an egotistical sense—the truth is that your an extremely unique person and no self-help book or TedTalk is ever going to give you the direction you crave.
I would tell myself that I can't hate myself thin, that I really won't go to hell if I let a boy touch my boob, and that it will all turn out so, so much better than I expected. But also: THERAPY, baby.
Number 10 is so, so real. I love that you included it. I have felt more deep pain in my life through my experiences in the past five years or so than ever before, but I have also been able to access this seemingly bottomless reservoir of joy and gratitude. I know I would not feel the deep gratitude and love if I didn't experience and really allow myself to feel the pain. Now at 29, I am embracing my aliveness and everything that comes with it more than ever. Thank you for this lovely, real, reflective piece!
Oh I love this!! I would definitely tell myself I cannot out exercise body insecurity!!! After years of depriving myself and several injuries, I am slowly finding acceptance and it is the greatest gift I’m giving myself so far
Elder millennial here and WOW does this resonante from the other side of forty. I'd tell myself that there's nothing "wrong" with you for feeling sad, angry, lonely and gently anything that isn't happy. That the ups and downs in moofs are a part of life and accepting that you'll feel differently from day to day is NORMAL and the first step in scrutiny your whole self. That the pain helps the joy feel all the sweeter. Happiness is a wonderful state of being but no one lives in it all of the time. That is okay if you're not okay all of the time and that you will be alright.
Oh I love this!! I would definitely tell myself I cannot out exercise body insecurity!!! After years of depriving myself and several injuries, I am slowly finding acceptance and it is the greatest gift I’m giving myself so far
Your letter to your younger self is raw, tender, and deeply relatable — a blend of hard truths and quiet hope. The voice is honest without being bitter, reflective without losing humor. It’s a reminder that growth is messy, nonlinear, and ultimately, beautiful.
As someone who has worked in higher ed (starting in admissions) for 25+ years, can I just say a giant AMEN to the idea of going to college matters but not getting into an Ivy doesn't idea? I wish all 16 year olds could know that most colleges admit most of their applicants most of the time and that all the talk about the highly selective schools makes it seem like there are only like 50 good schools in the world and that just isn't remotely true.
There is no one right college for anyone and most people will end up satisfied with where they go, even if it isn't a "brand name".
Sorry, this is one of my soapboxes! Standing down now :)
OMG no apology necessary. Give me more!!!
I was probably most self-confident at 16. I would tell her to keep on keeping on and follow her soul no matter what.
I LOVE this. Sometimes inexperience is a good thing — you don't know what to be afraid of.
I would tell myself all the nasty, awful bad things that have happened to you, are not your fault and you had NOTHING to do with them. But they will shape you in ways you don’t realize, both positively and negatively. Do the work when you’re older, but be shame free of it until then. Keep treating people with kindness. It comes back to you and will serve you well.
I want "be shame-free" tattooed on my brain!
love "outgoing introvert" as a concept - I've been thinking of myself as a "part-time introvert!" which is very much the same thing!
Hahaha I like part-time introvert even better
Haha I just realized I liked your comments on two different posts in like 5 minutes.
Great minds!!😉
I have a 16 year old daughter. Maybe she’ll listen to your reflective advice more than she’ll listen to me. Who am I kidding! She had to learn all this for herself.
I think that's what I would tell my 16 yo self - right now you think you've got it all figured out. Down the road, you will want someone to give you the answers and no one can actually do that for you.
Ha, so true, these really are things you need to learn through experience!
The “rules” (societal, self-imposed, religious, educational, family) do not apply — not in an egotistical sense—the truth is that your an extremely unique person and no self-help book or TedTalk is ever going to give you the direction you crave.
Yessssssss. Walk your own road!
I would tell myself that I can't hate myself thin, that I really won't go to hell if I let a boy touch my boob, and that it will all turn out so, so much better than I expected. But also: THERAPY, baby.
Number 10 is so, so real. I love that you included it. I have felt more deep pain in my life through my experiences in the past five years or so than ever before, but I have also been able to access this seemingly bottomless reservoir of joy and gratitude. I know I would not feel the deep gratitude and love if I didn't experience and really allow myself to feel the pain. Now at 29, I am embracing my aliveness and everything that comes with it more than ever. Thank you for this lovely, real, reflective piece!
You put this so well 💛
Oh I love this!! I would definitely tell myself I cannot out exercise body insecurity!!! After years of depriving myself and several injuries, I am slowly finding acceptance and it is the greatest gift I’m giving myself so far
I find this *too* relatable. Thank you for sharing!
loved this 🥲
No. 2 really got me. When I was 16 I wouldn't have believed anyone that told me one day I'd miss my brother painfully! I'm always counting the days...
Sibling relationships are slooooow burns.
Love.
Elder millennial here and WOW does this resonante from the other side of forty. I'd tell myself that there's nothing "wrong" with you for feeling sad, angry, lonely and gently anything that isn't happy. That the ups and downs in moofs are a part of life and accepting that you'll feel differently from day to day is NORMAL and the first step in scrutiny your whole self. That the pain helps the joy feel all the sweeter. Happiness is a wonderful state of being but no one lives in it all of the time. That is okay if you're not okay all of the time and that you will be alright.
Oh I love this!! I would definitely tell myself I cannot out exercise body insecurity!!! After years of depriving myself and several injuries, I am slowly finding acceptance and it is the greatest gift I’m giving myself so far
"If you’re tempted to cancel because you’re stressed, sad, or crabby: Go. If you’re tempted to cancel because you’re completely overwhelmed: Cancel."
I needed this SO MUCH. These are words to live by!
Your letter to your younger self is raw, tender, and deeply relatable — a blend of hard truths and quiet hope. The voice is honest without being bitter, reflective without losing humor. It’s a reminder that growth is messy, nonlinear, and ultimately, beautiful.