Issue #05: The difference between solo travel when you're single vs. in a relationship

And other burning questions; a conversation with Natalie Compton, Washington Post travel journalist

Hi, hello, friends, moms, aunties, fellow clog fans. It’s been one month of Platonic Love!

If you’re new (welcome), catch up on who we are and why we’re doing this. We’re just getting started.

This week, we have a special guest:

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Natalie Compton has great stories. 

In more ways than one: she’s a travel journalist for the Washington Post and, prior to that, wrote for GQ, VICE, Los Angeles Times, WIRED, Bon Appétit, Food & Wine, and Playboy, among others. And as someone who’s traveled all over the world for her job, she has a seemingly endless supply of anecdotes, adventures, and experiences. We talked with her for an hour and could’ve gone two more. 

Read more from Natalie at

Continental Breakfast

:

In this interview: 

• The terrifying accident in Thailand that compelled Natalie into journalism

• How travel changes when you’re in a relationship

• The book she’s “screaming from the rooftops” about

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Aliza: Natalie, thank you for chatting with us. Kicking things off, how did you become a travel reporter? 

Natalie: From an early age, I believed travel could be a part of your job. My sister and I used to tag along with my dad to trade shows and conferences in cities like Vegas, Hawaii, and Orlando.

And starting in sixth grade, my family took an international trip each summer. To make it work, we’d share one hotel room and be super frugal. I realized travel was totally attainable even if you weren’t rich.

Those experiences coincided with loving to write. In junior high I told my sister that when I grew up, I wanted to be like Rick Steves.

Natalie writes in her first travel diary (Rome, 1998)

But when I went to college, I had a crisis of self and started to doubt I could do journalism for a living. So I ended up getting a pretty bland Communications degree that was really for people who wanted to teach Communications or do PR. 

I graduated, got an internship at a PR firm in San Francisco, then on a whim ended up moving to Bangkok. A friend of mine told me she was going to Thailand, and I decided to buy a one-way ticket. I ended up getting a job in Communications/PR for a hotel startup two weeks before the flight. 

It was in Bangkok that I started thinking again about being a journalist, after I had this life-changing accident. 

Aja: Woah! What happened?

Three months into my new job, I was at a company retreat in rural Thailand. We took a party bus there and were having a fantastic time: drinking whiskey, doing karaoke, all that. At one point, my friend gets thrown in the pool. I’m really drunk, and I remember thinking, “She can’t be in the pool alone!” So I kicked off my shoes and dove in. 

Turns out the pool was only four feet deep, and I hit my head. 

I’m getting out, honestly most worried that people saw me embarrass myself, when someone says, “Is that blood in the pool?”

It turns out I’d split my scalp open. I needed sixty stitches. 

At a hospital in Thailand (2014)

Aliza: That must’ve been incredibly scary. 

So scary. I wasn’t sure how the accident had impacted my brain — I was thinking very slowly and my thoughts felt all jumbled. I thought I’d have to fly home and move back in with my parents.

My only regret wasn’t about a partner or kids, but journalism. I didn’t try to be a journalist. 

Aja: What happened next?!

Once I recovered, I started reaching out to blogs and magazines and asking if I could write for them for free. My PR experience came in handy here; I knew how to find editors’ information and write pitches.

My first email to Vice was to info@vice.com. I can’t believe they even checked that inbox — but somebody read it. They told me no but that I could send them more pitches. I sent ten more, and they picked one. 

At one point, I was living out of my sister’s garage. They’d just had a baby, and there wasn’t enough space for me, but it didn’t make sense to rent my own apartment while I was gone so much. 

When traveling, I felt on top of the world. And then I would come home to the garage and think, This isn’t what I thought adulthood would be like.

Aja: You were, and still are, traveling on your own a lot of the time. What are some of the most gratifying or enjoyable parts of traveling solo? 

Natalie: It’s really satisfying to pull off solo trips. Starting from the beginning: getting off the plane, finding a taxi, making it to your hotel… Like, I pulled that off! You build up confidence doing even the very basic stuff on your own.

There’s also a luxurious feeling about getting to choose everything you’re going to do that day. If you want to sit in your hotel room for four hours, nobody will know. Or you can walk around all day. You can wear the same outfit for ten days in a row or only eat McDonald's.  

Whatever your deepest, darkest desires are, you can do them without judgment. And that's usually not the case in your day-to-day life.

Aja: Yeah, absolutely. I took a solo trip last weekend and I spent the whole time by the pool. Barely went anywhere. It was glorious. 

What do you think are the most challenging parts of traveling solo? 

Natalie: There are two sides of traveling alone: feeling like you’re at your most brave, and also being paralyzed by indecision or doubt. I remember this one time, on a work trip to Tokyo, I walked around for at least two hours trying to find a place to stop and eat dinner. I passed the same places multiple times, too afraid to walk in.

And yet, on the same trip, I pulled an all-nighter, met some strangers, sang karaoke, and kissed a stranger. 

And safety, of course, for women. Traveling alone is vulnerable. And staying safe comes back to luck, but it’s also being practical — not doing things that seem dangerous on paper, and trusting your gut.

I'd be a hypocrite if I said, Oh, never do anything that's risky, because I’ve done stuff that's risky that ended up being fun. But I’ve also done stuff that was risky and ended up in dangerous spots that could have been a lot worse. You have to maintain this very shitty constant awareness of, I'm a woman traveling alone.

Aja: Absolutely. And there’s a difference between being single and traveling solo and being in a relationship and doing it. Tell us how meeting your current partner changed how you travel.   

Natalie: When I started traveling for stories, I was single. Dating on the road was romantic and interesting. I’ve used Tinder all over the world and have stories from dates in India, Bali, Boston, and beyond. I didn't meet my international spouse, but it was a fun way to travel.

When I started dating my partner, I realized I'd built these “single person” habits. Like going to a bar and talking to a guy. 

For me, that was also an easier avenue than approaching women. But I recently went to this cool restaurant in Saigon and realized there were two other women sitting alone at the bar next to me. Each of us were pretty close in age and we were all a little timid to talk, but we did and ended up having a very fun dinner of “separate togetherness.” 

Over the years, I’ve formed so many travel relationships, and we keep in touch.

Aliza: I love this concept of travel relationships. There’s an anonymity, and also hyper-consciousness, when we travel. I think that allows us to form memories and relationships that can be more difficult during our daily lives. 

You cover such a wide breadth of topics in your own writing. What does your creative process look like? 

Natalie: Every morning, I wake up and scan the news for story ideas. I write a mix of articles assigned from my boss and topics that I’ve pitched.

Actually, I recently started reading a book called The Artist’s Way. I’d been feeling pretty stuck creatively recently — having this thought of, Am I boring? Does my work matter? 

I’ve known about the book for years; several other creatives and writers have recommended it. But it seemed too hippie, New Age for me. 

It’s not. I’m obsessed. It’s helping me to be more kind to myself and embrace change in my creative process. I’m screaming from the rooftops, “Please, everyone read this book with me!”

Reading The Artist’s Way (2023)

Aja: I’ve heard of The Artist’s Way a few times, but I think this is the push that I needed to pick it up.

Natalie, we’ve loved this conversation. Where can our readers find more of your work? 

Natalie: I have too! You can follow me on Instagram (@natbco). Or if you subscribe to the Washington Post, you’ll catch me in our Travel section every week. 

Some of our favorite stories by

Natalie Compton

include “I’m writing travel journals again after a long hiatus” and “A hater’s guide to Nashville.” 🤠

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See you Monday,

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