Issue #94: 10 things to do on a date with your friends...
(That aren't eating or drinking!)
Hi! It’s Aja. Here’s something you should know about Aliza: She always finds fun activities. In the past couple months, she’s invited me to an open house at the Institute of Contemporary Art, several shows, a few book talks, and a paint night. I actually can’t remember the last time we simply went to dinner or got a drink! Don’t get me wrong, a restaurant date is always great — but I love how many memories we create (and how much more I see of the city) thanks to these unique hang-outs.
If you want to mix it up too, here are ten different friend date ideas from some of our favorite writers and creatives…
of : “I’m obsessed with meeting my friends’ parents. Hanging around a kitchen island, peeling back that next layer of intimacy, getting to know people 30 years my senior who created my favorite people — divine. Whenever my best friend Rachel and I have the shared urge to escape, we venture off to her mom’s in the country. My girlfriend Riliegh recently hosted a bunch of us at her parents’ for an adult sleepover. Basically, if you want to be my friend, I'd love the package deal of you and your family.”
of : “My favorite friend-date these days is a walk! I live in downtown Charleston, where any number of twists and turns can lead you to the water, a beautiful historic neighborhood, a park, or a cute coffee shop. My friend and I will meet each other halfway and then see where the hour (sometimes two!) takes us. By the time I am home, we've fully caught up, I’ve gotten my steps in, and I feel recharged.”
of : “I love going to museums — there’s no pressure to buy anything or leave quickly. My friend Gene, who lives in D.C, has indulged me in many trips to the city’s free museums. (Most recently, it was to the Hirshhorn Museum and Sculpture Garden to see the stunning Revolutions: Art from the Hirshhorn Collection, 1860-1960 exhibition.) I’m also a member of the North Carolina Museum of Art. For their annual Art in Bloom exhibit, floral designers created gorgeous arrangements in conversation with specific pieces of art in The People’s Collection.”
of : “After graduating college, my friend group left Boston one by one. During the pandemic, we started a weekly virtual movie night… and almost five years later, we're still going strong. There have been life changes — moves to new states, career shifts, and two babies — but we know we have a standing date Mondays at 8:30 pm. We usually watch cheesy rom-coms, period dramas, or the latest buzzy Netflix show. But it’s really a time to share the minutiae of our lives in a version of the college nights we spent cozied up in our sweats, with a cup of tea, watching a movie and chatting over it the whole time.”
of : “I recently gathered a group of friends for a Saturday morning coffee tasting. Like many, I’m a coffee obsessive (it’s even in my newsletter’s name!), but I didn’t know as much about the process professional roasters go through. A friend from a coffee company guided us through tasting three kinds of coffee from around the world. It was such a fun way to learn something new in a low-stakes way. I bet your local cafe would be interested in doing something like this.”
of : “When I visited my friend Christina in Indianapolis last summer, she came up with the fun idea to spend our day together hopping from one indie bookshop to another. She’s inspired me to take more friends out on book crawls. It was a great way to see the city and gave us time to have meaningful conversations — plus, unlike a bar, you can bring kids.” (Aliza: I planned a bike/book crawl for my husband’s 30th birthday — which happened to fall during COVID — and we had the best time!)
of : “Winter in the Pacific Northwest can be brutal. My friend Darya and I have been waging our own battle against the Big Dark since 2020, when we committed to weekly outdoor walks no matter the weather. There’s something strangely cathartic about briskly walking in the freezing rain while getting a no-holds-barred life debrief. In recent years, we’ve leveled up our routine with hikes to jump into freezing alpine lakes and trips to Von Sauna, a floating sauna on Lake Washington where we sweat, talk, and cold plunge.”
of : “I think in our 30s, there’s a collective fear that we’ve suddenly been too focused on work and not developed any hobbies. So, when we are able to, we book workshops — pasta-making, pottery, painting, etc. The ones which require several sessions, like pottery on a wheel, are the best because they mean we see each other more regularly!”
of : “I live in New York City, so in my humble opinion there is no better venue for a friend date than a Broadway show. As a former theater kid who simply didn’t have the talent to make it a career, it’s pure joy to watch the pros do their work — especially when you can squeeze your friend’s hand and sip from a show-themed plastic cup of overpriced wine at the same time! With TodayTix and TKTS, it really doesn’t have to break the bank. Plus, after the show you can pop into a bar for a snack and a nightcap.”
of : “I’m sure this comes from playing sports growing up and having the daily ritual of going to practice, but I love regular group hangs centered on a physical activity. I have a group of women I go rock-climbing with every other week, a running club that meets every Wednesday evening, and a cardio dance class on Thursdays. I also have a group that texts when they’re heading on a hike (about once a week in the summertime). It’s low-stress, because the groups are large enough that there's no expectation of going — but always there if I need it — and I love the variety of spending time with different people!”
Thanks to all the women who contributed to today’s issue. We wish we could go on a date with each of you!
We’d love to hear more of your ideas. What’s your favorite way to spend time with friends?
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Meeting my friends’ parents is my absolute favorite!! I love an errand date — it’s so low pressure and weirdly fun. Something about a friend agreeing to go to Target for Benadryl, get a car wash, and drop off some packages at FedEx together just makes you feel… closer?!
so grateful to be featured among all these incredible ideas. Indie bookshop tour is my next friend date