I've had all notifications turned off my phone for years - banners, sounds, badges - everything. All group chats silenced. Lol, I'm a total phone grinch...but I still have friends!
I have to say that having the same group chat on multiple social media sites to catch up with would make me crazy. I'm Old, so my chats are text only. And I would have no problem with a friend saying "I have a busy week so I won't be answering', but a friend who never contributes or responds with no explanation means to me they are not interested.
I will admit that I have a few friends that have deleted social media, and it drives me nuts when they ask for screenshots every time they miss something. LOL maybe I'm just a curmudgeon
I deleted social media (tiktok, instagram, snapchat, facebook) about 6 months ago. I totally agree, it's hard to miss out on things! I ask for stuff to go in the group chats instead of DMs too! I wish there was a way for me to make an instagram account where I just follow the 50 people I actually know and care about, and not see anything from the explore page or ads. Of course, that's not possible, because Instagram wants to make money
If it makes you a bad friend, welcome to the bad friend club. I turned off all my notifications and set my phone to auto switch to do-not-disturb between 5pm-8am every single day and the level of peace it brings me is unmatched. I often feel overwhelmed by text messages and don't respond to them immediately anyway, so my response time is relatively unchanged. I just figure if someone really needs me, they'll call.
This is spot on!!! I'm in my late thirties and my friends are divided between states, countries, families, careers, and varying degrees of phone media usage. My group chats have felt like a lifeline when I'm bored, need a laugh, or just need to make a silly observation to SOMEONE.
E.g. I just texted, "Remember how cute the Snapchat deer filter was?" to my friend group while reading this because I have ADHD and I need a place for my thoughts and outbursts.
Sometimes it's one response, sometimes it sparks a whole convo, some people chime in and out when they can. But we never take it personally, it is always there when we need us. It's like having a support system in your pocket.
I also have ALL notifications off so I can manage aforementioned ADHD and dip in and out when I can.
I remember going to a funeral a few years ago and I clutched my phone inside of my pocket as a way to tap into their support.
Phones/social media can be the devil, but when managed correctly - they can be so magical.
I think about this all the time. I get SO EXHAUSTED by my phone, mostly because of how much I need to be on it for my job, with Instagram. So on the weekend, I'll often just turn off all notifications because I am tired and don't want to look at it. But I feel like a bad friend. What I will usually do is just tell my boyfriend, my group texts, etc. that I am going dark or having a troll day. But I still feel really guilty.
Semi-related, does anyone have friends who are bad at responding via text so you go to message them on Insta?
I've had to be careful with my relationship to IG over the years, these days I log on via Safari 2-3 times a week. But sometimes I have to get in there to message a friend because they won't reply to a text. If I need an answer about something, off to Insta I go...where I'll get an immediate response lol.
My phone is on DND for most of the day. Running a biz & multiple social media accounts means endless notifications and it’s a huge distraction that easily gives me anxiety. You have to do what’s best for you! We aren’t meant to be plugged in 24/7
I've had all notifications turned off my phone for years - banners, sounds, badges - everything. All group chats silenced. Lol, I'm a total phone grinch...but I still have friends!
Honestly... inspiring!
I have to say that having the same group chat on multiple social media sites to catch up with would make me crazy. I'm Old, so my chats are text only. And I would have no problem with a friend saying "I have a busy week so I won't be answering', but a friend who never contributes or responds with no explanation means to me they are not interested.
Agreed, I think you should be able to say, "Sorry, bonkers week, but let's talk over coffee soon // I'll give you a call next week."
Omg I have never had mine on! Fabulous freedom!
Fabulous!!
I will admit that I have a few friends that have deleted social media, and it drives me nuts when they ask for screenshots every time they miss something. LOL maybe I'm just a curmudgeon
Hahahaha this is fair. It kinda feels like, if you're out, you should be out.
I deleted social media (tiktok, instagram, snapchat, facebook) about 6 months ago. I totally agree, it's hard to miss out on things! I ask for stuff to go in the group chats instead of DMs too! I wish there was a way for me to make an instagram account where I just follow the 50 people I actually know and care about, and not see anything from the explore page or ads. Of course, that's not possible, because Instagram wants to make money
If it makes you a bad friend, welcome to the bad friend club. I turned off all my notifications and set my phone to auto switch to do-not-disturb between 5pm-8am every single day and the level of peace it brings me is unmatched. I often feel overwhelmed by text messages and don't respond to them immediately anyway, so my response time is relatively unchanged. I just figure if someone really needs me, they'll call.
This is spot on!!! I'm in my late thirties and my friends are divided between states, countries, families, careers, and varying degrees of phone media usage. My group chats have felt like a lifeline when I'm bored, need a laugh, or just need to make a silly observation to SOMEONE.
E.g. I just texted, "Remember how cute the Snapchat deer filter was?" to my friend group while reading this because I have ADHD and I need a place for my thoughts and outbursts.
Sometimes it's one response, sometimes it sparks a whole convo, some people chime in and out when they can. But we never take it personally, it is always there when we need us. It's like having a support system in your pocket.
I also have ALL notifications off so I can manage aforementioned ADHD and dip in and out when I can.
I remember going to a funeral a few years ago and I clutched my phone inside of my pocket as a way to tap into their support.
Phones/social media can be the devil, but when managed correctly - they can be so magical.
I think about this all the time. I get SO EXHAUSTED by my phone, mostly because of how much I need to be on it for my job, with Instagram. So on the weekend, I'll often just turn off all notifications because I am tired and don't want to look at it. But I feel like a bad friend. What I will usually do is just tell my boyfriend, my group texts, etc. that I am going dark or having a troll day. But I still feel really guilty.
I also have somehow ended up working in social media, so that definitely adds to the exhaustion! I feel you! - LM
Semi-related, does anyone have friends who are bad at responding via text so you go to message them on Insta?
I've had to be careful with my relationship to IG over the years, these days I log on via Safari 2-3 times a week. But sometimes I have to get in there to message a friend because they won't reply to a text. If I need an answer about something, off to Insta I go...where I'll get an immediate response lol.
My phone is on DND for most of the day. Running a biz & multiple social media accounts means endless notifications and it’s a huge distraction that easily gives me anxiety. You have to do what’s best for you! We aren’t meant to be plugged in 24/7
It was so fun contributing to one of my favorite newsletters, thank you for having me! :) - LM
loved this take