During my fertility treatments last year, I listened to the song “August” by Taylor Swift often on the way to the clinic, specifically for the line “living for the hope of it all”. It became my mantra to keep going through the fear and heartache. Our sweet IVF baby was born this summer and his name is August ❤️
Thank you for sharing. I had a similar experience at a Brandi Carlile concert after a miscarriage a few years ago (Song: The Mother. AHHH). It almost felt too painful to listen, but as I continued to move through the song -- listening, crying, wiping snot away, thinking -- I felt more and more powerful. I had been through something terribly hard, and I was here, and I was going to experience other hard things, and I would be ok. I hope you are feeling ok as well.
Now, as for songs! I've been working on my angry chicks playlist, affectionately titled "Fuck 'Em". The cornerstone tunes are "Fuck You" by Lily Allen, and "Bad Girls" by M.I.A. Here's to finding strength and joy through music!
Thank you so much for this, Liz. I think your comment about feeling more and more powerful (through the snot and the tears) just hits the nail on the head. I wouldn't wish these challenges on my worst enemy, but there is strength that comes from getting through hard things 💜
My anthem for when I don’t know what to do or how to cope has always been “What’s Up” by 4 Non Blondes. I scream-sang it on repeat my entire drive to work this morning. Highly recommend.
I was on a day trip in the car with my college-aged sons this summer, and we spent the entire trip discussing songs that tug at the heart. They both said "7 Years" by Lukas Graham. My younger son said "Even if it Breaks Your Heart" by the Eli Young Band. Mine is "Life is a Highway" by Tom Cochrane (it was my dad's favorite song--and I find it bittersweet and feel like it's one of those "sign from beyond the grave" songs). And "Hallelujah" by Leonard Cohen. My husband can't handle "Slipping Through My Fingers" by Abba.
Even if it Breaks Your Heart was originally by Will Hoge, an Americana/rock musician and songwriter from Nashville. I highly encourage you to listen to some of his albums - he is a beautiful lyricist and poet. (Doesn't hurt that his songs are total jams.) Modern American Protest Music and Tiny Little Movies are good places to start!
Not sure about the Indian audience here that listens to Hindi songs, but I find this one extremely uplifting - "Kholo Kholo" from the movie 'Taare Zameen Par'.
Thank you for this letter!
It made me a bit more comfortable while being vulnerable.
Sending you the warm embrace of this community. All the feelings making all the sense.
Speaking of feelings, my song that always does something to me—and what it does changes—is “This Feeling” by the Alabama Shakes. Also, “Love Lost” by Mac Miller & The Temper Trap.
Dark Road by Sarah Jarosz (and a lot of that album) featured heavily on my own miscarriage/infertility playlist. A Better Son/Daughter by Rilo Kiley. Pride by Grace Petrie (played a lot today). Like Gold and Mess is Mine by Vance Joy. The Lost Words Blessing by Julie Fowlis. Don’t Let It Trouble Your Mind by Rhiannon Giddens. Bide Ye Yet by Ossian (and I had a thistle pendant with the same words to remind me to hang tough and wait). Days Like This by Van Morrison. Take It Easy by the Eagles. Simple Song by Passenger. This Year by The Mountain Goats. Gold Rush Kid by George Ezra. All the joy and sorrow and grit I could put in one Spotify playlist.
Kelly, this is incredible! I cannot wait to add all of these to our playlist and listen -- there are several new to me artists here, and of course the classics! 💜
Thank you. I needed this. The "I'm going to cry..." is so powerful. I've said this to my partner too many times to count and there's something really soothing about just saying it aloud and giving yourself permission to be a complete mess.
I saw Kasey live in LA last month and cried my eyes out, it's incredible how emotional and cathartic music can be. Jagged Little Pill (the entire album) is my forever my favorite thing to scream sing, Alanis really lets it rip and embodies the feminine rage that lives inside all of us, especially in a moment such as this one.
i'm wrapping you in a (virtual) deep hug. I listened to Seasons by Hillsong a lot during our fertility challenges and Surrender by Natalie Taylor (still makes me cry listening to it). <3
Any and all Bon Iver, specifically Beach Baby and Towers. Agnes by Glass Animals. When the Party’s Over by Billie Eilish. Ghost Town and New Year’s Eve by First Aid Kit. Pretty much the entire “Once” album. Timshel by Mumford and Sons (just relistened and wow it hits hard this week). I have a lot 🥹 love your newsletter. Keep going.
My really fucking sad and miserable song would “Soon You’ll Get Better” by Taylor Swift. My mom was in/out of the hospital’s ICU nearing the brink of death during each visit and it went on for months. She’s since passed.
BUT if I’m feeling down, I’ll listen to French singer Vianney because he can usually lift me up with his positive attitude.
Sarah, that song BREAKS me - and my mom is still alive. I'm so so sorry that you lost your mother and appreciate you sharing this with us. Can't wait to listen to Vianney 💜
I'm more likely to address grief with bass drums and wailing guitars. At high volume the Talking Heads' "Take Me To The River" and The Clash album "Never Mind The Bollocks" leave no room for despair.
Yes and yess, thank you! Someone else mentioned Dolly above too -- this was one of my most played songs during the early, scary days of covid, and I often go back to it when I need a boost.
I'm so sorry for your experience. I, too, have experienced the confusing, painful feelings that come with a miscarriage. Thank you for sharing.
I've been listening to "I Just Love You" by Roo Panes recently when feeling melancholy. Also, Valerie June's "Why The Bright Stars Glow" and "You and I".
During my fertility treatments last year, I listened to the song “August” by Taylor Swift often on the way to the clinic, specifically for the line “living for the hope of it all”. It became my mantra to keep going through the fear and heartache. Our sweet IVF baby was born this summer and his name is August ❤️
😭 😭 Congrats on your new baby, Moriah! That's so beautiful. And what a good reminder of that song, putting it on now!
Thanks so much, Aliza 🫶🏻 I’m grateful for all you share to help me navigate new motherhood!
Thank you for sharing. I had a similar experience at a Brandi Carlile concert after a miscarriage a few years ago (Song: The Mother. AHHH). It almost felt too painful to listen, but as I continued to move through the song -- listening, crying, wiping snot away, thinking -- I felt more and more powerful. I had been through something terribly hard, and I was here, and I was going to experience other hard things, and I would be ok. I hope you are feeling ok as well.
Now, as for songs! I've been working on my angry chicks playlist, affectionately titled "Fuck 'Em". The cornerstone tunes are "Fuck You" by Lily Allen, and "Bad Girls" by M.I.A. Here's to finding strength and joy through music!
Thank you so much for this, Liz. I think your comment about feeling more and more powerful (through the snot and the tears) just hits the nail on the head. I wouldn't wish these challenges on my worst enemy, but there is strength that comes from getting through hard things 💜
Love that title !!!
My anthem for when I don’t know what to do or how to cope has always been “What’s Up” by 4 Non Blondes. I scream-sang it on repeat my entire drive to work this morning. Highly recommend.
scream-singing is the preferred mode!!! 💜
I was on a day trip in the car with my college-aged sons this summer, and we spent the entire trip discussing songs that tug at the heart. They both said "7 Years" by Lukas Graham. My younger son said "Even if it Breaks Your Heart" by the Eli Young Band. Mine is "Life is a Highway" by Tom Cochrane (it was my dad's favorite song--and I find it bittersweet and feel like it's one of those "sign from beyond the grave" songs). And "Hallelujah" by Leonard Cohen. My husband can't handle "Slipping Through My Fingers" by Abba.
I'm so sorry.
Even if it Breaks Your Heart was originally by Will Hoge, an Americana/rock musician and songwriter from Nashville. I highly encourage you to listen to some of his albums - he is a beautiful lyricist and poet. (Doesn't hurt that his songs are total jams.) Modern American Protest Music and Tiny Little Movies are good places to start!
Cannot wait to listen to both of these versions!
I get goosebumps every time I listen to Hallelujah — such an incredible song.
Not sure about the Indian audience here that listens to Hindi songs, but I find this one extremely uplifting - "Kholo Kholo" from the movie 'Taare Zameen Par'.
Thank you for this letter!
It made me a bit more comfortable while being vulnerable.
Means a huge deal!
Thanks so much for sharing, Shiva - and glad that this could offer you some sort of comfort too!
my favorite sad Hindi song is Jee Le Zara (Talaash).
Both Sides Now by Joni Mitchell
Silver Springs by Fleetwood Mac
Here with me by Dido
And my specific anti Trump song is Not Ready to Make Nice by The Chicks
💯 Not Ready To Make Nice on repeat.
The shout-scream ANTHEM! The chicks are my #1 forever.
Sending you the warm embrace of this community. All the feelings making all the sense.
Speaking of feelings, my song that always does something to me—and what it does changes—is “This Feeling” by the Alabama Shakes. Also, “Love Lost” by Mac Miller & The Temper Trap.
Oh, I LOVE alabama shakes! Thank you for the love and for sharing these reminders.
Dark Road by Sarah Jarosz (and a lot of that album) featured heavily on my own miscarriage/infertility playlist. A Better Son/Daughter by Rilo Kiley. Pride by Grace Petrie (played a lot today). Like Gold and Mess is Mine by Vance Joy. The Lost Words Blessing by Julie Fowlis. Don’t Let It Trouble Your Mind by Rhiannon Giddens. Bide Ye Yet by Ossian (and I had a thistle pendant with the same words to remind me to hang tough and wait). Days Like This by Van Morrison. Take It Easy by the Eagles. Simple Song by Passenger. This Year by The Mountain Goats. Gold Rush Kid by George Ezra. All the joy and sorrow and grit I could put in one Spotify playlist.
Kelly, this is incredible! I cannot wait to add all of these to our playlist and listen -- there are several new to me artists here, and of course the classics! 💜
Thank you. I needed this. The "I'm going to cry..." is so powerful. I've said this to my partner too many times to count and there's something really soothing about just saying it aloud and giving yourself permission to be a complete mess.
I saw Kasey live in LA last month and cried my eyes out, it's incredible how emotional and cathartic music can be. Jagged Little Pill (the entire album) is my forever my favorite thing to scream sing, Alanis really lets it rip and embodies the feminine rage that lives inside all of us, especially in a moment such as this one.
Aw I’m so so glad that this could resonate 💛
i'm wrapping you in a (virtual) deep hug. I listened to Seasons by Hillsong a lot during our fertility challenges and Surrender by Natalie Taylor (still makes me cry listening to it). <3
Aw, thank you Allie. Going to check out both of these and put them on our list!
“This is not your year” by the Weepies is cathartic AF
MOOD
Breathe through it, write a list of desires
Make a toast, make a wish, slash some tires
Paint a heart repeating, beating "don't give up, don't give up, don't give up."
Any and all Bon Iver, specifically Beach Baby and Towers. Agnes by Glass Animals. When the Party’s Over by Billie Eilish. Ghost Town and New Year’s Eve by First Aid Kit. Pretty much the entire “Once” album. Timshel by Mumford and Sons (just relistened and wow it hits hard this week). I have a lot 🥹 love your newsletter. Keep going.
Ahhhh yes, yes. Thank you so much for your support, Stefanie 💜 How could we forget Bon Iver or Mumford?!
My really fucking sad and miserable song would “Soon You’ll Get Better” by Taylor Swift. My mom was in/out of the hospital’s ICU nearing the brink of death during each visit and it went on for months. She’s since passed.
BUT if I’m feeling down, I’ll listen to French singer Vianney because he can usually lift me up with his positive attitude.
Sarah, that song BREAKS me - and my mom is still alive. I'm so so sorry that you lost your mother and appreciate you sharing this with us. Can't wait to listen to Vianney 💜
I'm more likely to address grief with bass drums and wailing guitars. At high volume the Talking Heads' "Take Me To The River" and The Clash album "Never Mind The Bollocks" leave no room for despair.
This is one of the best ways to do it!!
Sending 💕
Two songs that come to mind: Dolly Parton’s Light of a Clear Blue Morning and Maren Morris’ new single People Still Show Up
Yes and yess, thank you! Someone else mentioned Dolly above too -- this was one of my most played songs during the early, scary days of covid, and I often go back to it when I need a boost.
I'm so sorry for your experience. I, too, have experienced the confusing, painful feelings that come with a miscarriage. Thank you for sharing.
I've been listening to "I Just Love You" by Roo Panes recently when feeling melancholy. Also, Valerie June's "Why The Bright Stars Glow" and "You and I".
I'm so so sorry for what you're going through, Allison. I wish I could take some of the pain away -- but grateful we have this music 💛