I love this. I’m 19 months postpartum and post emergency c-section and I promise you it gets easier to find a way back to yourself. The American healthcare system fails postpartum women in so many ways. I started refusing to get on the scale at my doctors appointments and found a good therapist.❤️ also, you are a badass for running!! My good friend Elizabeth, @staygoldengirl on IG, has been documenting her postpartum running adventures and I find it super motivating.
Beautifully written!!!! I’m right in the thick of this too. I had to unfollow every famous pregnant person on Instagram when I found myself comparing my postpartum experience and body with theirs. It’s such an odd time! Sending you
Thanks so much Sydney — and appreciate you sharing too 💜 *such* an odd time. I’m 20+ months out now, and it does get easier, but it’s certainly ongoing…
Wow - it felt like I could have written this myself. I used that exact same phrase for my first run - it felt like going through mud! My hips felt so wobbly. It was bizarre how out of body I felt and in hindsight, I feel bizarre for how quickly I expected to get back into it.
I tried on my previous jeans at around 6 weeks postpartum and wow was I DELULU for doing that! Hahaha
Your writing here most definitely lands and resonates. Thanks for sharing. It's so encouraging to know we aren't alone as women and/or mamas in these experiences.
That picture of Karlie Kloss gives me rage! to glamorize pumping....can we not! Anyways, I'm really into your honest account of the postpartum journey. you feel the difference in every part of your physical body and being. It's a wild ride. Happy First Bday to Jude and good luck on your race!
I love this. I have this vivid memory of a lactation consultant coming to my house in the first days of trying to breastfeed my first son, and she was explaining all of the pump parts to me and I literally collapsed I was so overwhelmed. It felt like some machine that I was not qualified to put together. I still feel like that about motherhood on many days, and love any piece of writing that encourages all mothers to share honestly. Beautiful.
Yesss! Thank you so much for sharing — I tell my friends who are pregnant now, just don’t even touch or think about the pump! You’ll figure it out if/when you need to… 🫠
I love everything you write about postpartum. I still remember being told my baby wasn't gaining enough weight from breastfeeding alone (even though I was constantly feeding her) and that I needed to triple feed. I went home and just cried and felt so overwhelmed. Now I am 11 months PP with pelvic prolapse (despite doing everything I could pre-baby to avoid), still pumping but starting the weaning process, and just now coming to terms with this new body. I find that somedays I am in awe of what my body has done and other days I mourn the body I had.
I relate to this so much! Currently 4 weeks postpartum with my second and even though I’ve done this before, I’m struggling with the same things. Clothes that don’t fit or look the same, a pelvic floor that is weak (so running, my favorite hobby, is a very, very long way away 👎), and very little time for myself. It took me a year and quitting breastfeeding to really feel like myself again last time and I know/hope I’ll get back there again, but it’s so tough. Good luck with your race!!
I’m almost due with my first baby, possibly having a c-section, and have been unnerved my entire pregnancy with “bounce back” culture. This piece was a breath of fresh air and one I wish I would’ve found months ago. Sending you love as you continue to heal — thank you for sharing this with us, it helps immensely ease the mental burdens we carry with our babies 🩵
Wow, reading this felt like warm hug. A hint that I’m not alone. I’m currently 5 months postpartum with my first and we went shopping this weekend. My partner insisted I buy clothes since lounge clothes and my old pregnancy dresses weren’t quite cutting it. It took a lot for me to admit that I’m a bigger size now. I hope that I can go back down but I’m also not forcing anything atm. TYSM for sharing, I won’t be returning the jeans 🤍
ugh this is so so real. I appreciate it so much. I gained 80 lbs pregnant with twins and am certainly not down to my pre-pregnancy weight (my boys are nearly 2). I also got bell's palsy while pregnant which paralyzed the right side of my face. I hardly recognize the person in the mirror. It's so disorienting. It's so important to know we're not alone.
Oh, gosh. I wish I could reach through the fiber of the internet and give you a hug. The depletion and confusion of that first year is forever stamped in my heart... and my kid is 7. It's also only this year - 2024 - that I heard the term "matrescence" for the first time. It refers to the birth, the emergence of a mother. It is such a profound experience but every time I see a picture of me from my first year as a mom... especially from work-related functions... with my hair straightened and my blazer on... I just think, poor baby... poor baby. You were trying so hard and all you needed was rest and love.
I am so grateful for writing like this, not to scare people or discredit the experience of women who have an easier time with the early stages of motherhood... but to share a fuller picture of what it's truly like.
P.S Doesn't becoming a mom also feel like joining the mafia?! All the camaraderie and instant connection we feel with total strangers because... they KNOW. 😂🥰
Yes yes to so much of this! And I love that term!!! Was actually a huge motivator for starting this newsletter — realizing there is a term to define and validate this profound change ☺️
This was amazing to read. That picture of Karlie Kloss is just gross (aside from the obvious beauty factor, but you know what I mean!)...it would've been nice if she put a pic of herself at home or in a more realistic setting - not backstage at a runway show. Like - who can relate to that? Thank you for being so vulnerable! ♥
I resonated with this so much and just wrote about this same topic in my newsletter too! My son is 20 months and I STILL don’t recognize myself when I look in the mirror. Motherhood is such a beautiful, incredible thing, but it doesn’t change the fact that it’s so hard on our bodies. We are forever changed from it, both mentally and physically. In solidarity, sister! ❤️
😮💨 felt this!! a year tomorrow after a third baby, this round with a C-section and I thought I was more familiar with accepting a changed body after baby and nope. not even close this time.
Thank you so much for sharing - beautifully written! And huge congrats on the 10 mile run - such an achievement and a milestone 💓 FWIW, i had a baby last Feb & my mum told me “it takes a year” to feel back to “normal” which, newly postpartum, felt slightly ridiculous. But it was such a helpful reminder whenever i started (inevitably) comparing myself and how I’d changed.
I don't think we can ever have enough honest discussions about the toll pregnancy and childbirth has on our bodies and our minds. Thank you for sharing - it's important, especially amidst the Karlie Kloss of it all. I have only found that time is the most healing force. Five years and two babies later, I feel (mostly) at peace with this new body.
I wrote a bit about my relationship to my body after I had my first baby and while pregnant with my second. There was so much at play to unfold. Maybe this will resonate in some capacity!
I love this. I’m 19 months postpartum and post emergency c-section and I promise you it gets easier to find a way back to yourself. The American healthcare system fails postpartum women in so many ways. I started refusing to get on the scale at my doctors appointments and found a good therapist.❤️ also, you are a badass for running!! My good friend Elizabeth, @staygoldengirl on IG, has been documenting her postpartum running adventures and I find it super motivating.
Aw, thank you so much Liz! Our emergency c section babes must be about a month apart — Jude’s 20 months now 🥰
Beautifully written!!!! I’m right in the thick of this too. I had to unfollow every famous pregnant person on Instagram when I found myself comparing my postpartum experience and body with theirs. It’s such an odd time! Sending you
Lots of luck in your race!
Thanks so much Sydney — and appreciate you sharing too 💜 *such* an odd time. I’m 20+ months out now, and it does get easier, but it’s certainly ongoing…
Wow - it felt like I could have written this myself. I used that exact same phrase for my first run - it felt like going through mud! My hips felt so wobbly. It was bizarre how out of body I felt and in hindsight, I feel bizarre for how quickly I expected to get back into it.
I tried on my previous jeans at around 6 weeks postpartum and wow was I DELULU for doing that! Hahaha
Your writing here most definitely lands and resonates. Thanks for sharing. It's so encouraging to know we aren't alone as women and/or mamas in these experiences.
Aw that means so much — thank you for sharing, Cassie! 🩷
That picture of Karlie Kloss gives me rage! to glamorize pumping....can we not! Anyways, I'm really into your honest account of the postpartum journey. you feel the difference in every part of your physical body and being. It's a wild ride. Happy First Bday to Jude and good luck on your race!
Exactly! Thank you 💛💛
I love this. I have this vivid memory of a lactation consultant coming to my house in the first days of trying to breastfeed my first son, and she was explaining all of the pump parts to me and I literally collapsed I was so overwhelmed. It felt like some machine that I was not qualified to put together. I still feel like that about motherhood on many days, and love any piece of writing that encourages all mothers to share honestly. Beautiful.
Yesss! Thank you so much for sharing — I tell my friends who are pregnant now, just don’t even touch or think about the pump! You’ll figure it out if/when you need to… 🫠
I love everything you write about postpartum. I still remember being told my baby wasn't gaining enough weight from breastfeeding alone (even though I was constantly feeding her) and that I needed to triple feed. I went home and just cried and felt so overwhelmed. Now I am 11 months PP with pelvic prolapse (despite doing everything I could pre-baby to avoid), still pumping but starting the weaning process, and just now coming to terms with this new body. I find that somedays I am in awe of what my body has done and other days I mourn the body I had.
Oh gosh, feel for you — it is always something!
I can relate to this so deeply: “some days I’m in awe of what my body has done and other days I mourn the body I had.” Thank you for sharing 💜
I relate to this so much! Currently 4 weeks postpartum with my second and even though I’ve done this before, I’m struggling with the same things. Clothes that don’t fit or look the same, a pelvic floor that is weak (so running, my favorite hobby, is a very, very long way away 👎), and very little time for myself. It took me a year and quitting breastfeeding to really feel like myself again last time and I know/hope I’ll get back there again, but it’s so tough. Good luck with your race!!
Yesss, it’s so much. You’ve got this! (Again)!!! 💜
I’m almost due with my first baby, possibly having a c-section, and have been unnerved my entire pregnancy with “bounce back” culture. This piece was a breath of fresh air and one I wish I would’ve found months ago. Sending you love as you continue to heal — thank you for sharing this with us, it helps immensely ease the mental burdens we carry with our babies 🩵
Congratulations on your baby on the way, Violet! It's the most incredible gift. And it means so much to hear that these words resonated xx
Wow, reading this felt like warm hug. A hint that I’m not alone. I’m currently 5 months postpartum with my first and we went shopping this weekend. My partner insisted I buy clothes since lounge clothes and my old pregnancy dresses weren’t quite cutting it. It took a lot for me to admit that I’m a bigger size now. I hope that I can go back down but I’m also not forcing anything atm. TYSM for sharing, I won’t be returning the jeans 🤍
Ahh I know all of these feelings so well -- I hope your new clothes help you feel empowered too! xx, Aliza
ugh this is so so real. I appreciate it so much. I gained 80 lbs pregnant with twins and am certainly not down to my pre-pregnancy weight (my boys are nearly 2). I also got bell's palsy while pregnant which paralyzed the right side of my face. I hardly recognize the person in the mirror. It's so disorienting. It's so important to know we're not alone.
Couldn’t agree more — it’s so helpful to not feel isolated in this muck. Thanks so much for sharing too 💛
Oh, gosh. I wish I could reach through the fiber of the internet and give you a hug. The depletion and confusion of that first year is forever stamped in my heart... and my kid is 7. It's also only this year - 2024 - that I heard the term "matrescence" for the first time. It refers to the birth, the emergence of a mother. It is such a profound experience but every time I see a picture of me from my first year as a mom... especially from work-related functions... with my hair straightened and my blazer on... I just think, poor baby... poor baby. You were trying so hard and all you needed was rest and love.
I am so grateful for writing like this, not to scare people or discredit the experience of women who have an easier time with the early stages of motherhood... but to share a fuller picture of what it's truly like.
P.S Doesn't becoming a mom also feel like joining the mafia?! All the camaraderie and instant connection we feel with total strangers because... they KNOW. 😂🥰
Yes yes to so much of this! And I love that term!!! Was actually a huge motivator for starting this newsletter — realizing there is a term to define and validate this profound change ☺️
Thank you, Petya!
This was amazing to read. That picture of Karlie Kloss is just gross (aside from the obvious beauty factor, but you know what I mean!)...it would've been nice if she put a pic of herself at home or in a more realistic setting - not backstage at a runway show. Like - who can relate to that? Thank you for being so vulnerable! ♥
Aw, thank you so much Amy! 💛
I resonated with this so much and just wrote about this same topic in my newsletter too! My son is 20 months and I STILL don’t recognize myself when I look in the mirror. Motherhood is such a beautiful, incredible thing, but it doesn’t change the fact that it’s so hard on our bodies. We are forever changed from it, both mentally and physically. In solidarity, sister! ❤️
😮💨 felt this!! a year tomorrow after a third baby, this round with a C-section and I thought I was more familiar with accepting a changed body after baby and nope. not even close this time.
Thank you so much for sharing - beautifully written! And huge congrats on the 10 mile run - such an achievement and a milestone 💓 FWIW, i had a baby last Feb & my mum told me “it takes a year” to feel back to “normal” which, newly postpartum, felt slightly ridiculous. But it was such a helpful reminder whenever i started (inevitably) comparing myself and how I’d changed.
I don't think we can ever have enough honest discussions about the toll pregnancy and childbirth has on our bodies and our minds. Thank you for sharing - it's important, especially amidst the Karlie Kloss of it all. I have only found that time is the most healing force. Five years and two babies later, I feel (mostly) at peace with this new body.
I wrote a bit about my relationship to my body after I had my first baby and while pregnant with my second. There was so much at play to unfold. Maybe this will resonate in some capacity!
https://worthmentioning.substack.com/p/issue-23-body-of-work