Aliza, thank you for sharing something so vulnerable. One friendship-related observation: sometimes it takes a lot of courage to share bad news or things we feel ashamed about, with friends and loved ones. The fact that you quickly shared your unsettling news and reached out to your friends for help is inspiring and a good reminder that good friends want to help - but need to be let into our lives to be able to do so.
My husband calls give and take "the emotional bank account", as in "have you made a deposit in the emotional bank account before you ask for a withdrawal?" when it comes to friendship. If we feel awkward asking for a favor, it's a sign to us (speaking of my husband and myself) that we haven't contributed. It doesn't have to be anything big, just a check in for us.
Thank you for sharing your experience! And, the prompts and next steps at the end really got me reflecting and thinking about how I show up with my own friendships. It gave me a direction to continue showing my friends that they are valued and important.
Oh Aliza, I've been laid off and it's SO HARD not to get caught up in that shame spiral. Of course, you'll come out the other side but I know how difficult it is waiting to get there. Reading this was really inspiring because look where your vulnerability got you - you turned to your friends, and they came through! And that must feel AMAZING! I also love you taking note of how each friend shows up differently and how you appreciate the specific things they offer - ice cream, giving you space, etc. As someone who has a bit of a hard time with vulnerability, this was a great lesson for me that reaching out is totally worth it. ☺
So sorry about this setback Aliza, but happy to see you’ve already bounced back thanks to friendship. I just wanted to share something I think I read from Brené Brown as well. I’m probably quoting her badly but I think it’s her who said : “you can’t offer true help to your friends, if you’re not willing to ask for help yourself”. I remember it really struck me as, as you say in your essay, I’d rather be the friend giving help than asking for help. But Brown was arguing that if you’re not able to ask for help yourself, you’re not giving help from a place of love but rather from a place of power. That you’re more helping to serve your own ego, than to be truly generous. It was shaking to read, but I think I understand now how being able to show vulnerability for one self makes all the difference. So thanks a lot for sharing and enjoy what this new chapter brings in your life !
Aliza, thanks for letting us in on what friendship has looked like during this tough time. You're clearly surrounded by incredible people, and are lucky to have them—and for what it's worth, your new employer is lucky to have snagged you! I know that job loss is a self-esteem hit, but please know that they just won the lottery.
Aliza, thank you for sharing something so vulnerable. One friendship-related observation: sometimes it takes a lot of courage to share bad news or things we feel ashamed about, with friends and loved ones. The fact that you quickly shared your unsettling news and reached out to your friends for help is inspiring and a good reminder that good friends want to help - but need to be let into our lives to be able to do so.
My husband calls give and take "the emotional bank account", as in "have you made a deposit in the emotional bank account before you ask for a withdrawal?" when it comes to friendship. If we feel awkward asking for a favor, it's a sign to us (speaking of my husband and myself) that we haven't contributed. It doesn't have to be anything big, just a check in for us.
Thank you for sharing your experience! And, the prompts and next steps at the end really got me reflecting and thinking about how I show up with my own friendships. It gave me a direction to continue showing my friends that they are valued and important.
I'm so sorry to hear about the job! Better things on the horizon. Always.
Oh Aliza, I've been laid off and it's SO HARD not to get caught up in that shame spiral. Of course, you'll come out the other side but I know how difficult it is waiting to get there. Reading this was really inspiring because look where your vulnerability got you - you turned to your friends, and they came through! And that must feel AMAZING! I also love you taking note of how each friend shows up differently and how you appreciate the specific things they offer - ice cream, giving you space, etc. As someone who has a bit of a hard time with vulnerability, this was a great lesson for me that reaching out is totally worth it. ☺
So sorry about this setback Aliza, but happy to see you’ve already bounced back thanks to friendship. I just wanted to share something I think I read from Brené Brown as well. I’m probably quoting her badly but I think it’s her who said : “you can’t offer true help to your friends, if you’re not willing to ask for help yourself”. I remember it really struck me as, as you say in your essay, I’d rather be the friend giving help than asking for help. But Brown was arguing that if you’re not able to ask for help yourself, you’re not giving help from a place of love but rather from a place of power. That you’re more helping to serve your own ego, than to be truly generous. It was shaking to read, but I think I understand now how being able to show vulnerability for one self makes all the difference. So thanks a lot for sharing and enjoy what this new chapter brings in your life !
you have amazing friends!!
Aliza, thanks for letting us in on what friendship has looked like during this tough time. You're clearly surrounded by incredible people, and are lucky to have them—and for what it's worth, your new employer is lucky to have snagged you! I know that job loss is a self-esteem hit, but please know that they just won the lottery.
💖💖💖💖💖