Links we sent our friends #74

Reader compliments, insomnia cures, stretchy pants, and more.

Hello, it’s Aja. Thank you for all your lovely comments last week. We’ve now got an 100+ song playlist for bad days:

Also, the compliments that have stuck with you were lovely to read. Here are a few:

KellyG

said, “An older mom I know told me she watched the way I spoke to my two year old and told other new moms to follow my example. I hadn’t realized anyone had been paying attention.”

Writer and novelist

Olivia Muenter

said, “Someone at a book event said [my essays] made her feel understood (and even cry!), and I think of it often. It meant so much to me. Whenever I am feeling alone or just down about myself, I always remember her.”

EmEliz

said, “A few years ago, at a wedding reception, my husband and I were hanging around some friends from college we don’t see too often, and kind of dancing/getting loosened up with the music, goofing off. My college girlfriend’s husband, who can be a bit of a tough cookie, looked at us and said in wonder, ‘Wow, you ended up with the absolute perfect person for you.’... We had a one-year-old, and I was about three weeks pregnant with my second, and it was and continues to be just such a nice reminder during our more exhausted phases that we are the right people for each other.”

Rachel

said, “I was playing some pickup beach volleyball, and a woman (ten-plus years older than me) was helping me with my overhand serves, which are often a challenge for me. She said a few times, ‘You have enough power.’ Although she meant it in a physical sense, I still hear it in my head when I’m facing some challenges.”

Right: One of Aja’s all-time favorite musicians, Laura Marling

Aja’s Links:

1. My library loan of Rules for Visiting came in last Monday, and the timing couldn’t have been better. It’s a smart, warm, easy-to-read book about a botanist reconnecting with four old friends. I highlighted so many quotes and fun facts — like “Many scientists believe trees can befriend each other, intertwining their roots to share resources and bending their branches to ensure each gets enough sun.” And “It had occurred to me that one of the questions I most wanted to ask my friends was: Can I see an average day in your life right now? A real day, not one curated for social media or filled with the best activities to entertain a visitor.” (Aliza: This is going on my short list.)

2. I’ve been (re)-experiencing insomnia, and my psychiatrist recommended taking these magnesium supplements (which, in addition to helping you fall asleep more quickly and sleep more deeply, have lots of other benefits). 

3. In a similar vein, this portable white noise machine has already become one of my favorite purchases… ever? It’s battery-powered, so I can use it in our outlet-less bedroom, and super small, making it perfect for travel.

4. Sam and I are actually in New York right now — we’re seeing Laura Marling on her last-ever tour tonight. I’ve loved her since I was in high school and will absolutely be crying start to finish. 

5. Where do we go from here? A very helpful and cathartic conversation between

   Shannon Watts
   and
   Jessica Yellin
   . (My favorite line: Hope is a discipline.)

6. Two poems I’ve read a few times over the past several days: How Dark the Beginning, by Maggie Smith, and Allow Me, by Chungmi Kim.

Aliza’s Links:

1. I’m so glad that Aja told me to see this movie. It’s a reminder to stay present…

2. This largely meant savoring time outside with my two-year-old this weekend, taking a long walk with a new friend, and not opening my computer until Sunday evening (apologies if you’re expecting any email responses from me — they’re coming!) I’ve also been going back to this to-do list by illustrator Sophie Lucido Johnson (found via

   Joanna Goddard
   ). 

3. Anne Helen Petersen
   compiled a helpful list of post-election reads for when you’re ready.

4. Promptly ordered another pair of the comfiest, stretchiest pants I can put on my body (and wear outside of the house). They remind me of my middle school jazz pants in the best way. 

5. For anyone else who grew up on movies like Save the Last Dance or Center Stage — a really good laugh (h/t my sister).

Question we asked our friends:

Being around friends has felt extra-good lately. On Thursday, I got coffee with a friend in the morning and dinner with another friend at night, and I went to bed feeling legitimately lighter and calmer. On Friday, Aliza and I got a little high and went to a candlelight string quartet Taylor Swift concert — as cheesy and perfect as it sounds. (We got teary watching a young couple get up and start slow-dancing during Lover… and then started giggling when security told them to stop. Why?!?)

What’ve you done with friends? And/or what are you looking forward to doing?

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In case you missed it:

• Songs for a Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

• How to start a great conversation no matter whom you’re with

• 18 things I give zero fucks about since becoming a mom

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