Links we sent our friends #70
A great mascara, fall boots, and reader tips on dealing with jealousy
Hi! It’s Aja. Thank you so, so much for your thoughtful replies to last week’s essay — as I told Aliza in a voice note, experiencing jealousy has felt gross and alienating, so it was pretty wonderful to take that and convert it into a sense of community and support.
Some tips on combating jealousy from the comments I found helpful:
wrote, “‘A rising tide lifts all ships’ has become my motto over the past few years. The more I lift up and support other writers, the more it comes back around. Sometimes I’ll see yet another massive food TikToker join Substack, and my first response is, ‘Shit, they’re coming for my spot!’ Then I take a deep breath, welcome them to the party, and tell them to call me if they need any help settling in. This approach feels much, much better than the spiteful ignoring of their posts, which I also used to do. Now, hearts for all ❤️❤️❤️❤️” said, “An insight that’s been helpful to me in combating jealousy has been that often jealousy feels like a fundamental difference — she’s just more ___ than I am — but deep down, it’s usually kinship. When that jealousy is raw enough to feel like friction, I’m identifying that person as similar to me, so instead of spending energy wanting to be like them, I try to remember that I already am.” said, “I use envy to guide me where to go. It’s my inner compass telling me, you want that! Go get it!”Highly recommend checking out the comments for more. Now onto the links we sent our friends this week, featuring
…
Kelly is a writer living in Minneapolis with her husband and dog, Pig. We’ve followed her since the early Cupcakes and Cashmere days, where Kelly wrote vividly and honestly about career transitions, living alone during COVID, and more. Now, Kelly writes
, a newsletter about womanhood without motherhood — and how that intersects with friendship.1 She’s also working on her debut novel, which we can’t wait to read.Kelly’s Links:
The year isn’t quite over yet, but my book club’s favorite book of 2024 — hands down — was The Husbands by Holly Gramazio. Highly recommend, especially if you’re in a reading slump! (Aja: Yes! Very readable and a great conversation-starter.)
I just bought this mascara for the third or fourth time and have no plans on stopping.
This Alison Roman pasta is quite possibly the best vegetarian-friendly recipe I’ve ever made for a dinner party.
That delicious sandalwood-y candle you smelled at my house was probably this one. (Full disclosure: I helped develop this brand, but I swear I’m not biased!)
This essay about “romantasy” and ACOTAR is both hilarious and… accurate.
Aja’s Links:
Currently musing over this cool cardigan. Is it the answer to my perennial “too warm for a coat but too cold to go sans jacket” plight?
I’m also hunting for the perfect pair of boots. The criteria: knee-high, with a heel (but not too high), black or brown leather, and a narrow shaft (wide makes me look like Jack Sparrow.) My top contenders are these and these.
WOW, now this is an Airbnb experience.
I obviously sent this article about the power of writing partnerships to Aliza. One of the unexpected joys of Platonic Love has been regularly editing each other’s personal essays — it’s a really intimate and lovely process.
Any other Sophie Kinsella fans here? The author of the Shopaholic series just published a new book, but as this Washington Post review explains, it’s a right turn from her typical plot and style (fun, charming, light). What Does It Feel Like? is based on Kinsella’s experience being diagnosed with an aggressive brain tumor. I just started last night, and it’s hard to put down.
My fiancé and I each have a pair of these slippers and wear them constantly from October to April.
Aliza’s Links:
All proceeds from this 135-track compilation of unreleased recordings from an all-star collection of artists (R.E.M., The War on Drugs, Angel Olsen, Fleet Foxes, Jason Isbell, Mipso, and more) benefit victims of Hurricane Helene in Western North Carolina. The organization is selling the digital album for $10 on Bandcamp (streaming is unlimited!)
Is discovering new music daunting? My husband found something that might help.
Everlane is the best, IMO (good prices, good quality) and they’re running a 25% off sale right now — which is very exciting because I’ve been eyeing this cashmere sweater and these loafers as potential fall staples. (I love their denim as well. These jeans are still one of my most worn and comfortable postpartum purchases from nearly two years ago.) (Aja: This jacket is very on-trend and relatively affordable too, just saying.)
A recent simple — but game-changing — upgrade to my home office setup.
Last week, I discovered this online game best described as what happens when a movie buff and a Wordle fan have a baby. It’s a lot of fun and surprisingly challenging.
Great news for fans of Nobody Wants This! (Aja: Phewwww.)
Question we asked our friends:
Do you want to talk to us for an upcoming issue of Platonic Love? We’re working on two different stories right now and would love to hear from you if you have notable experiences and/or opinions on…
changing (or not!) your name after marriage. Did your partner change theirs? Did you hyphenate? Did you keep your last name? Did you change? etc.
disliking your friend’s partner. Did you tell your friend? Did you stay quiet? Did you and your friend stay close or grow apart? etc. (You can be anonymous for this one if you’d prefer.)
Please shoot me a quick note at aja@platonicloveletter.com — excited to chat!
In case you missed it:
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An under-discussed topic and obviously one we’re deeply interested in!
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We just celebrated our 24th anniversary last week. My husband never had a middle name, just an initial, because his parents wanted to give him his grandfather’s name but he was still alive, and in Jewish custom, you don’t name someone after a living person. I had a middle name, but it was boring. My last name began with the same letter as my husband’s middle initial. So when we married, both of us took my maiden name as our middle names. Had the added bonus of shutting up a lot of people with opinions about whether I kept my name or not!
Love when two substackers I subscribe collab! ❤️ love Kelly Johnson!