Issue #96: The unexpected joy of watching my son become himself
Why we've been listening to The Nutcracker on repeat since December
Written by
. Edited by .Every night since last December, my two-and-a-half-year-old son has danced along to the Nutcracker.
Last night, he started crying unexpectedly, his small felt Nutcracker dangling from his left hand.
“This not Nutcracker,” he said through his tears. My husband and I looked at the Amazon Echo on the kitchen counter. Its screen showed The Nutcracker by Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky. “Not right,” he said again. Then I realized it had been on shuffle. My son wanted to hear the ballet play sequentially.
He especially loves The Nutcracker’s battle scene.
“Mommy, you be Mouse King,” he commanded on a recent evening while I was cooking dinner. “I’m big nutcracker.” He chasséd past the dining room table and whirled into the living room, yielding a plastic drum stick like a sword; I followed close behind, my arms raised in mouse’s claws.
Last fall, I bought a copy of Angelina Ballerina at our local bookstore. “Mommy used to love these books!” I told him enthusiastically. But after a few seconds, he stepped up from my lap and wandered away… likely in search of Peppa Pig or Elmo.
When I learned I was pregnant — and then that I was having a boy — I was intensely curious to meet him. Who will he look like? What will he be interested in? Does this mean that I’ll need to learn the difference between an excavator and a dump truck?
At two-and-a-half, my son has just gotten old enough to engage with the stuff that I remember. But the more his personality and interests develop, the more I realize how little control I have over the person he’s becoming. I can introduce him to Taylor Swift, The Sound of Music, and train sets — but I can’t dictate what sticks. That’s the beauty of raising a kid, right? That they become their own people, with personalities and choices and interests that diverge from your own.
At the same time, his Nutcracker phase makes him feel so much like ours.
When I was nine or ten, I got the part of a “party girl” in my dance studio’s annual Nutcracker production. I’d been watching the older dancers rehearse for years and was giddy to finally join them. My mom drove me to after-school rehearsals twice a week for two months, where I learned how to act on stage, giggling and shuddering silently with the other party children.
It was the first time I’d felt stage fright. I remember sitting backstage, a little nauseous, twirling my ringlets before each performance. But once I got on-stage, all my anxiety went away. Listening to The Nutcracker always brings me back to the joy I felt as a kid, feeling the hot stage lights beaming down on me, knowing my mom and dad were somewhere in the crowd. Now, every December, I turn on Tchaikovsky.
Meanwhile, when Sam was eleven, he was obsessed with battles. A few months ago, we found an old box of journals his younger self had filled with sketches of miniature forts, fortresses, and soldiers. He could still talk me through the specific strategies he’d been envisioning.
After I bought Angelina Ballerina, it sat untouched on my son’s bookshelf for six months. Then, a few days ago… he noticed the tutu. “Ballerina!” he said. He’s brought the book into bed with him each night since.
I still can’t quite believe that I get to witness him exploring the world and finding new interests — from The Nutcracker and The Lion King to dinosaurs and baking. Sam and I laugh about the DNA of his Nutcracker love, but the truth is, it belongs entirely to him.
We’re starting to see the outlines of who he’s becoming — a creative, musical, and deeply imaginative person. I don’t know what will come after The Nutcracker — or after that, or after that — but I’m excited to be there for it.
Now it’s your turn…
I’d love to hear about the unexpected passions or obsessions your kids have developed. Or yours! Have your early interests influenced who you are as an adult?
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Watching my children develop/find passions, become more themselves, is beyond amazing, one of the coolest, most enlightening - and downright fun - parts of parenthood. My oldest son is OBSESSED with gems and snakes. Yes, rocks and gems (so much so, that one of our boy kitties is named Ruby Sparkles) and snakes and reptiles. Every book from the school library, every writing assignment... cobras and gems. It's amazing and hilarious.
My middle son... Legos and food. Dragons. My littlest son...TBD ha.
It's a joy and a true gift to observe and engage with all these interests and I can't wait to see what's to come.
PS. Fellow Nutcracker party child dancer here too! One of my core memories from my own childhood. And yes, we have my Angelina Ballerina book on the shelf as well :)
So sweet. I am on the other side - one in high school and one in college - and this brings back so many memories. My daughter was obsessed with pink and princesses and "twirly" dresses. Didn't care for dolls at all, but if there was a pink option, that is what she chose. Also loved, loved, loved music. Now she is 20 and dresses in doc martens and flannels every day and refuses to wear a dress, but she is still into music and plays several instruments. My son loved to dress up - I have a picture of him at 4 with my heels on - and was the class clown. Now he never misses a gym day and is a serious, straight-A student. So funny when I think of their phases and obsessions and how so little of it sticks!