Issue #108: Diary of a single mom learning what good sex actually feels like
Between soccer practice and bedtime stories, she's having the best sex of her life.
Written by an anonymous reader. Edited by Aja Frost. (Small details have been altered to protect the writer’s anonymity.)
This is our second installment of Bedroom Diaries, a series chronicling a week in the life of an anonymous reader — and what they get up to sexually (or don’t). This week, a recently divorced mom of three discovers that good sex isn’t a myth…
Monday
6 AM: My alarm goes off and I try to think if there’s any possible way I could call out of work. It’s a fantasy I indulge in often.
6:45 AM: I wake up my five-, eight-, and eleven-year-old, who live with me half the time. Their dad and I broke up ten months ago. I moved out one month later. So far, it’s been a fairly smooth transition.
8 AM: I’ve dropped off the kids and made it to work. I work in operations for a big company.
4:30 PM: I shut my laptop and head out. I pick up my kids from the rec center (god bless a daycare that will bus to and from school). We get home and the kids leave a trail of detritus in their wake. I make a quick dinner and we head out to soccer practice for my eleven-year old.
7 PM: There’s a cute dad at soccer. He’s not wearing a ring, but his kids are really well-groomed, which makes me assume he’s married. While the younger kids play and my older daughter reads, I pull up Feeld. I’ve been pleasantly surprised by how sex-positive Feeld is — most users put their communication and safety rules and even when they were last tested in their profiles.
9 PM: The kids are all in bed and I am exhausted. I’ve grown to really enjoy solo parenting, but it still feels like running a marathon. I melt into the couch with my phone.
9:15 PM: I’m texting A. Like me, he has kids, an amicable relationship with his ex, and wants something casual but ongoing. We actually matched months ago on Bumble and even planned a date. Then I got overwhelmed with dating in general, postponed the date… and deleted Bumble. He was very understanding when we reconnected on Feeld. We’ve been talking for the past week and have a date scheduled for Saturday.
10:30 PM: I’m still laying on the couch, scrolling and texting. It feels like a revelation for men to be interested in me. My marriage ended for a lot of reasons, but our sex life was part of it. We were religious and virgins when we got married. Our sex was infrequent and routine. I’m not ready for a serious relationship, but it feels important to explore my sexuality.
10:45 PM: A.’s started sexting me. I’m really into it. Most guys say a couple good things and then ask for nudes, but he’s happy to tell me sexy stuff with minimal reciprocation.
Tuesday
7 AM: My alarm goes off three times before I finally manage to get out of bed. I get the kids and myself ready and head out.
9 AM: A. is picking up our sexting from last night. Luckily he’s still doing most of the work, because while I am enjoying it, I’m not in the headspace to respond fully.
10:30 AM: W. is texting me. We’ve been chatting for a few days. He’s funny and charming but also has mentioned the size of his dick more than once. Not in a way that I find offensive, but in a way I find… odd.
11 AM: W.’s nearby and wants to get a coffee. I’ve never done an impromptu day first date, but I like that I won’t have to feel nervous for very long beforehand. I mentally high five myself for doing my hair today.
11:30 AM: The coffee shop has that typical midday lull. I order an iced americano. W. walks in a minute later. After we talk for a bit, he asks how I’m feeling about the vibes. I tell him he’s cute and it would be fun to hang out again. He is driving Uber for work right now, and he keeps an eye on his phone to watch for good rides. I’ve almost used up my lunch break so we head out and hug goodbye. When I get back to work, I have a text from him jokingly asking if I want to make out in the back of his car. We make plans to hang out on Wednesday.
5:30 PM: Home from work with the kids. We start the evening routine of dinner, baths, and bedtime. I put on a Taylor Swift playlist and we all dance around in the kitchen. I often find myself trying to view my kids’ childhood through their eyes — I still feel a lot of guilt for breaking up our family and hope that these moments they get to experience with a happier mom makes up for it a little.
11 PM: I haven’t talked to A. much tonight; he went to a concert with a friend. I see on Instagram that my ex is at the same concert. Hmm. I might have a type.
Wednesday
6:30 AM: Once again, I did not sleep well. My five-year old woke up three times before I finally pulled him into bed with me. Maybe I can take a power nap before my date with W.
7:30 AM: Always weird to drop my kids off on Wednesday knowing I won’t see them again until the weekend. I feel a bit melancholy as I walk back to my car.
4 PM: W. tries to call me, but I ignore it since I’m at work. He sends me a video. His car won’t start, and he got it towed to a mechanic. He’s going to keep me posted, but it may interfere with our plans tonight. I appreciate the video proof.
5:30 PM: I’m home and laying across my bed. I’m so tired. I tell W. that I’m happy to postpone, and we make plans for tomorrow.
8 PM: I do a YouTube workout (it kicked my ass.) A. and I are texting about our marriages and how they impacted us. His ex realized she was a lesbian, so we have a lot to connect on in the “low-sex marriage” area. The talking slides into sexting.
9 PM: I ask A. if he cares if I used my vibrator while we text (I don’t know why, but it seems polite to ask?) He’s very into it and asks for updates. I hold off for a bit, but finally can’t stand it anymore and let myself orgasm. I almost expect to feel shame… but I feel empowered. I thank him for the good time (note to self: figure out the etiquette for this situation) and fall asleep.
Thursday
7 AM: I slept so well. The combination of getting to bed on time, no kids waking me up, and a really satisfying orgasm lead to me feeling very refreshed this AM.
11 AM: I’ve been working on a boring audit project all morning. W. texts that he’s excited for tonight.
5 PM: Home from work. I start a load of laundry and pick up my kids’ rooms. I’m starving, so I cook a steak and make a smoothie. I love alone nights when I can eat whatever I want.
6:30 PM: I begrudgingly do another YouTube workout.
7 PM: W. texts that he got an Uber ride to a city that’s forty minutes away and he’s taking it. Date is pushed to 8:30.
8 PM: I hop in the shower and quickly scrub down my body and shave.
8:15 PM: I still haven’t heard from W. I decide to wait to do my makeup or hair until I’m sure he’s actually coming.
8:30 PM: W. says he’s stopping at home to shower and then will be on his way. I’m getting a little annoyed but finish getting ready.
9 PM: W. tells me that he has a ride that will end close to where I am.
9:15 PM: I’m cleaning up the kitchen. I’m so tired. I kinda want to cancel, but I’ll power through.
9:30 PM: W. texts that he’s on his way. I respond with a thumbs up and tell him my door is locking at 10.
10 PM: I’m laying on my bed. I’m relieved and annoyed that he hasn’t shown up. At 10 on the dot, he sends me a series of videos. The gist is that he was on his way, got freaked out, and turned around. He hasn’t slept with anyone since his divorce. I don’t know whether to believe him or not. We had talked about hanging out and smoking and seeing how we felt — there were no expectations or promises of sex. I text him back that he shouldn’t do anything he’s not ready for, but that I wish he would have figured it out before he wasted half my night. I send a Marco Polo to my friends complaining about it.
10:30 PM: I watch a couple episodes of Sex and the City and do my nails to feel more in control of my time. If he had cancelled at any point before 8 I wouldn’t have cared at all. But to keep me hanging for two hours is…. ugh.
Friday
7 AM: I wake up still a bit annoyed, but I’m mostly over it. I delete W.’s contact info and get ready for work.
4:30 PM: Work was uneventful. I finished up the audit project and worked on some stuff for our new hires. I also texted A. a bit. I’ve lapsed on my other Feeld conversations; I was too tied up with A. and W. I continue to ignore them for now.
6 PM: I’m home after a stop at Trader Joe’s. My daughter was craving their chocolate babka bread, and I want to have it on hand when she comes back.
6:30 PM: I take a long walk. It’s my favorite form of exercise; I love zoning out and listening to a podcast and looking at all the houses in my neighborhood.
7:30 PM: Three miles later, and I’m back home. I throw a potato in my air fryer and heat up some leftover steak. While I eat dinner, I watch more Sex and the City.
9 PM: I’m working on building this giant wardrobe from Ikea. The shoes/jacket/backpack explosion by the door is always driving me crazy, so this seemed like a great solution. The only flaw in my plan was forgetting that I would have to build it myself. My ex loved building furniture, and even offered to help me with this, but I feel like it’s important to do it myself.
11:30 PM: I’m in bed and so excited to sleep in tomorrow. I respond to a goodnight text from A. and go to sleep.
Saturday
9 AM: I wake up to my cat pawing me in the face. I woke up at 6 to feed him, but he must be feeling neglected. I check my phone and I have a text from A. confirming our lunch date for 11:30. Love a man who follows through!
11 AM: I’ve eaten a granola bar, showered, and gotten ready. I like prepping for dates. Paying more attention to my makeup, putting on perfume — it all feels nice. I send a quick Marco Polo update to my friends and head out to the restaurant.
11:30 AM: When I pull up, A. is standing outside. I love when dates do this so I don’t have to walk in and awkwardly scan for them. I get out of my car, and we hug. He is cute and tall and smells really nice.
12:30 PM: We’re finishing up lunch. We talked easily the whole time about kids and dating and restaurants. I ask if he wants to split the check and he waves my hand away, then asks if I want to go somewhere else. Yes! I suggest my place. He puts his arm around me as we walk out. It feels so natural.
12:44 PM: I start showing him around my apartment. We go into the kitchen, and then we’re kissing. The chemistry is immediate and electric—something I’d almost forgotten could exist.
5 PM: Holy shit. We’ve been having sex off and on for over four hours. Hearing something like that when I was married would have made me roll my eyes. I can’t believe it’s something I get to experience now. He made me come five or six times, and I felt so comfortable and free to follow my body’s cues. In between, we talked — about movies and music and kid routines and our marriages. This is honestly how I always want sex to be. His cuddles are amazing too… he rubbed my back and legs, smoothed my hair, and caressed my face.
5:30 PM: We’re finally dressed again and back in the kitchen. I pull out some snacks. He is aghast at the giant hickey he gave me, but I reassure him my skin always reacts dramatically at first and then chills out after a couple hours. I make a mental note to use my ice roller tonight. We check our calendars to figure out when we can hang out again.
6 PM: After he leaves, I go to the store for some dinner ingredients. I put a Gatorade in my cart; I could probably use some electrolytes.
11:30 PM: A. texts me goodnight and tells me he had a really good time this afternoon. I tell him I did, too, then finally go to sleep.
Sunday
8 AM: Alarm goes off. I get up, wash my face, start a load of laundry, and slice up some of the babka bread for my kids. I find the transition back to my house goes smoother if there are snacks involved. I also do a quick scan to make sure everything is kid-safe (one time a guy left a used condom in my kids’ bathroom garbage. I was NOT impressed.) A. texts me good morning and tells me about the hike he’s going on.
9 AM: Kids are here! They explode into the apartment. I chat for a moment with my ex, give him some relevant kids’ birthday invites, and he heads out. It’s always whiplash to go from fun sexy single lady to mom of three.
1 PM: We spent the morning building a Magna-tile home for a potato bug, painting, and eating goldfish and cheez-its. Now it’s down-time.
5 PM: We just got home from a grocery store run. The kids go outside to play while I put away groceries and clean out the fridge. A. texts to tell me how his hike went — then tells me how much he enjoyed the non-sex part of hanging out too. I can feel myself memorizing the text as he tells me I’m funny, and easy to talk to, and entertaining. He suggests that next time we have even more non-sex hangout time — or at least, an equal amount. I’m grinning so hard. Great sex and a clear communicator? Very promising.
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This was a fun read!
Wow obsessed with this for her!!! Very into A. Would love a followup